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According to the IRS, I should be receiving this windfall no later than today, May 9. This, I gleaned from the site, because of the last two digits of my Social Security number, the fact that I filed electronically in March and had my return direct deposited into my account.

And so we waited. "You'll probably see it earlier," my husband told me. "There were news reports that the first wave of people got theirs earlier in the week than expected." He then optimistically did his part for the economy by spending his half on a new laptop, since his old one had just died.

"President Bush thanks you for being a good American" I sneered. Then I went out last weekend and let myself get carried away at the mall, spending $160 on clothes I wouldn't otherwise have spent, all because I knew my economic stimulus check was coming the next week to cover me.

But where is the money? As a freelance writer, I'm used to the proverbial "check is in the mail" waiting game. But I also know that radio silence is cause for suspicion. So this morning I went back to the IRS site, and clicked on its tool, "Where's my stimulus payment?" I plugged in my information.

I don't expect much when it comes to forthcoming government information. But hope springs eternal. Alas, up pops this message: Not any information on this taxpayer."

Then I notice this cryptic note, "If filing or preparation fees were deducted from your 2007 refund, or you received a rapid refund, you will be receiving a check instead of a direct deposit."

So...the $30 electronic filing fee I paid Turbo Tax means I won't be getting my money today? That's the first I'd heard of that stipulation. I check the paper check payment schedule.

June 20.

I feel a little like a jilted date. He said he'd call and he didn't. Really, I should know better by now. Monies promised should never be anticipated or waited on. And I'm feeling a little foolish because hey, I thought this was a bad idea to begin with. That didn't stop me from quickly spending more than was in my budget though. I guess that makes me a "better" American than I thought I was.

So have you gotten your stimulus money yet? What are you doing with it. Really...

• Ideas for spending your stimulus check:

• Stimulus check sales

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If you have money to burn and you're allergic to pet dander, but you'd really like to have a cat; have I got a deal for you! ABC News reported recently that a company called Allerca claimed two years ago that they had developed the world's first hypoallergenic cat. Allergic cat lovers immediately began paying deposits for ownership of the sneeze-free felines.

Selling prices range anywhere from $4,000 to $6,000 for your average tabby all the way up to $35,000 for an exotic variety of "wild cat." Emergency room doctor David Avner, who has researched the key feline protein believed to cause allergic reactions, says hypoallergenic cats are a fallacy. That's where the matter becomes a bit cloak and dagger-ish.

Dr. Avner states that a businessman named Simon Brodie approached him with the idea to develop a business offering non-allergenic cats, using the doctor's research. Anver alleges that after about a year, Brodie pilfered the kitty allergy research files and took off.

Brodie however, tells a different story. He insists that he offered Anver 3% interest in his new sneeze-less cat company. The two men couldn't agree, and litigation soon ensued.

ABC News reported that Dr. Erik Viirre, an ear, nose and throat specialist in San Diego, received an Allerca cat and has been quite pleased with "Jet". However, it seems that not all Allerca's customers are quite so happy. More than one customer has reportedly paid Allerca for a cat they never received. Additionally, Brodie's company has dodged scrutiny of it's product by unaffiliated members of the scientific community. The report indicates that only one series of tests has been completed on Allerca cats, which involved one neutral scientist, one cat, and nine human test subjects.

Scientists and feline breeders agree that an allergy-free feline is certainly feasible. However, they also agree that the actual development of one is to date, unlikely. There are particular species and even individual cats which can have very strong non-allergenic characteristics, though, and the combination of one particular cat with one particular person can result in a satisfactorily allergy reduced pet relationship.

For the time being, the best method to determine if a particular cat will aggravate your allergies is still to simply rub your face in it. Getting cheek to cheek and nose to nose with kitty will always answer your questions. It's also a good way to find out about the cat's disposition. Possibly the best part of your personal kitty testing is that it won't cost $35,000 to do it.

Gary Sattler is a freelance blogger. He's a former state certified Humane Officer, and a former retailer of animal care products.

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My New Year's resolution was to catch up on my Rolodex. Maybe that's setting my sights pretty low but it's more important than it sounds. There's a saying that he with the biggest Rolodex wins. In a nutshell, business - and often lots of other parts of life - can be all about who you know and networking.

In this computer oriented society, it's easy to forget about business cards. If something comes to you via computer, you may add it to your mailing list but the quickest way to handle a business card is still to stick it in a rolodex. Mine is so old that more than probably a third of the contacts are obsolete and the edges of the cards are tattered.

Think of all the times that your path crosses with someone else's - all the business cards that people hand you (some of them artistic treasures and for the rest of us just Staples variety) - all the nice people you meet. Keep these contacts where you can put your hands on them.

In Don't Worry, Make Money - Spiritual and Practical Ways to Create Abundance and More Fun in Your Life, Richard Carlson, Ph.D. reminds us to delight in the success of others. He fesses up to the inclination that most of us have to want to be more successful than our friends, to be competitive and jealous. "While it can be seductive to try to keep others at your level, it's absolutely, positively not in your best interest. The way to rise to the top is to wish everyone well, to hope with all your heart" that others succeed ... There's plenty of success to go around." While that may sound like a spiritual message (iwhich yes, it is), it's also a business message.

I'm putting the scattered business cards and the Rolodexes - the old and the new - in the same stack as the other things that I like to do when I watch a dvd - that is, ironing, bill paying, and the very occasional sewing. I'll put my stack of personalized postcards (an excellent way to remember to say hello, congratulations or thank you) with them. Networking matters - in a variety of ways.

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So it was refreshing, to say the least, to receive this in an e-letter from a Little Rock, Arkansas business yesterday:

NO HIGHER PRICES!

Boulevards answer to the unbelievably higher prices for flour, (from $10 a bag to $29 a bag), butter, eggs, and all other commodities is to be more efficient, waste less, to work harder, and to build volume through great service and exceptional quality products, (we are working tirelessly to improve service daily)!

You will NOT see a price increase for the foreseeable future! Please continue to support us, every customer is SO appreciated and loved!!!

-Scott McGehee, Boulevard Bread Co.

I called up Scott, who owns and operates the coffee/gourmet food shop, beloved by local hoity-toities and hipsters alike, to ask him about this radical departure from the herd. He told me that he is determined to find reasonable alternatives to making his customers carry the burden of his increased costs. How novel. Most other businesses seem to turn to the consumer's wallet as a line of first defense, not the last resort.

Last week, Walletpopper Zac Bissonette wrote about the dividends of honest customer service. Is goodwill toward an establishment money in the bank? If so, strategies like Boulevard's might yield better returns in the long run than the usual "we're suffering, so should you" line.

Have you heard of any businesses in your community taking a similar approach?

Kyran Pittman blogs about life at Notes to Self. Her essays have been featured three times in Good Housekeeping magazine's "Good Reads" section.

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If June is marriage month, perhaps May should be called 'clearing the decks for marriage' month. Distasteful as many find money talk, taking the time to plan your post-nuptual finances can help you avoid one of the most common sources of newlywed stress.

To guide such a conversation, here are a some topics that you might address--

1. Where you stand. What are your current debts? Savings? You might both request and share credit reports so that you can get a sense of your borrowing power (and any roadblocks that might have been 'overlooked').

2. How you plan to handle money. Who pays bills? Will you combine accounts or maintain separate ones? (My wife and I have always maintained separate accounts so that she has her own established credit history. Too many widows of marriages in which all finances were done in the husband's name have found themselves identitiless in the financial world after his death.) How about debts incurred when single? How does each get spending money? Are you comfortable with self-imposed allowances?

3. Future aspirations. How will you fund savings? Retirement accounts? Travel? Medical costs? Obligation to take care of Mom and Dad? Buying a home? Kids? How soon? How comfortable are you with debt? What are your income expectations? What are your financial red flags?

May is not too soon to have 'the talk', the one about money. June is too late, for sure. And waiting until July is a big, big gamble.

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From our Department of the Obvious - A University of Michigan study has shown that a husband creates an additional seven hours of housework for women, while wives save men an hour of housework per week.

The latest results of an ongoing study of housework trends showed a continued decline in hours of housework done by U.S. women since 1976, down from 26 hours to 17. The time men spend on housework, in contrast, has doubled, from six hours per week to 13.

Surprisingly, the study found that marriage increases the time spent on housework for both women and men. It also showed that single women in their 20s and 30s only spend an average of 12 hours a week on housework, while those in their 60s and 70s devote 21 hours a week.

More kids means more housework, as you might expect. Three kids raises a woman's housework to 28 per week. Surprisingly, men with more than three kids actually do far less housework on average, down to 10 hours per week. I'd speculate that the desire for a large family and the identification of housework as 'woman's work' are somehow related.

Gracias to Science Daily

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MSNBC recently posted some good advice for engaged couples about transitioning to a new financial life together. It has good tips on how and when to initiate a discussion about money, on budgeting, understanding one another's spending and saving patterns, setting goals and on getting outside advice.

Long-married couples and partners can benefit from advanced versions of this kind of advice. Far too often, couples with even the most solid financial plans hit serious potholes when the main breadwinner(s) retires. To those accustomed to a healthy direct deposit landing in the bank account every two weeks or so, the transition from accumulation to depletion can be a tough (if for some, only psychological) pill to swallow.

Dealing with money as retirees is a whole new ballgame. Everything can come into play, from who keeps the checkbook, to how (and by whom) income will get generated, if need be. The net, unexpected effect of not acknowledging these changes, or of not addressing them, is serious friction -- a kind of pressure in direct odds with the automated relaxation response most expect when work ends, and a leading reason even some well-heeled retirees cite for having a less than fulfilling retirement.

Often, one half of a couple has taken primary responsibility for their investments and financial retirement planning. The move to retirement is a great opportunity to get the less knowledgeable partner more involved, for a raft of good reasons. First and foremost, to create or enhance understanding of the relationships among income, expenses and discretionary spending, and how they may change when the primary earner retires. For some, this will bring a sigh of relief, knowing that the life as they've pretty much known it will go on. For others, it may be a wake up call for modification.

The more knowledgeable partner needs to think about the best way to initiate this kind of talk. Whether it's in the kitchen over a cup of coffee, or at a longtime financial advisor's office, or in some other way, one needs to balance their ability to explain their finances with an understanding of how their partner processes information, and of the overall dynamic at work in their relationship every day. A good start: create a detailed, one-page listing of important assets including all financial accounts, and where to locate vital papers.

It's simply the responsible thing to do, too. No one wants to think about life without their partner. But the truly loving course of action is to empower the less financially involved team member with the information and understanding they need to live their best life if and when circumstances make them the survivor.

Like all retirement-related discussions, it is better to start sooner than later. Early boomer and near-boomer retirees cite financial strain as one of the chief reasons they are choosing to separate or divorce within a few years of retirement, and in alarming numbers. That's not the retirement we envisioned, or deserve.

Michael Burnham is CEO of My Next Phase, a consulting firm offering non-financial retirement planning products and services (www.mynextphase.com).

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Last week, I suggested that I Know My Kid's a Star was televised child abuse. I referred to one incident on the show (an extended encounter between a mother and daughter). Although I'm sure my viewpoint offended the mother involved, she made a polite comment. She wanted me - and you - to understand that the show was edited for impact, exaggerating the negative moments. I think her point is well-made. Arguing and drama sells on reality television. Let's take that as a given.

My point is different and tonight, when I write about this show, again - which I expect to do as long as it is aired - I'll make sure that it comes across. To clarify: my objection is less about the specific incidents depicted on the show than it is about what it does to children to be placed in the position of competing against other children when their mothers (or fathers) are so intimately involved in the competition.

I feel the same way about any child's activity in which the parent is heavily invested. It doesn't matter whether it is straight A's in school, pitching in Little League, or winning an art competition. The idea that a child she strive for early stardom doesn't help a child develop into a whole human being, comfortable about who (s)he is and able to enthusiastically pursue her interests, which may vary enormously from day to day.

There is a saying from Waldorf school literature that goes something like this: "That tree is strongest which grows most slowly at its beginnings."

Childhood isn't a race.

A decade ago, I asked a colleague, a counselor in a grade 5-6 public school,

"Is there anything particular that you've noticed that separates the kids who are doing well from those who aren't?"

"Yes," she said, "their parents have their own lives."

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You are seated on a plane, watching the remaining passengers board when you notice them: arriving mother and child. The offspring come in all shapes and sizes. Never mind them for now, keep your eye on the mother. The future of your trip - whether it is about to hold reading, working, taking a nap - or its sudden alternative, sitting with a screaming child - is unfolding before your eyes. Watch closely because what you really want to know is whether that mother is coming equipped. Hopefully, she is carrying a small, colorful backpack. If not, run for cover.

I love children but the quarters up here are a little too close. It requires a basic level of parental intelligence - say mid-range- to know that when you bring a child on an airplane you'd better keep him happy. This is not rocket science but common sense in America has been in need of a booster shot for at least the last decade.

Wechsler's Rules for Air Travel with Children:

1. If the oxygen mask drops, put your own on first then assist the child. This, of course, runs counter to every mother's instinct so it is announced at the beginning of every flight.
2. When travelling with children, be prepared to keep them entertained. This doesn't require a significant financial investment. It does require bringing a sufficient variety of quiet ,age-appropriate activities to keep the child happy for the length of the trip. It may also require - at least part of the time - that you participate.
3. If the child is old enough, explain expectations to him before the flight.
4. Do not try to teach a child any lessons on an airplane. This is not the time to square off about limit setting. This is a time for distraction and entertainment. The people sitting within hearing range do not want to hear your child crying or screaming.
5. If you are doing all of the above and the child is still unhappy, other passengers are likely to be empathic and try to help.

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