I'm not what most people would consider to be a "romantic" type of fellow, but I think I know how to please a heart. I have learned over time that effect is not generally dictated by sticker price, although I'll admit occasionally that helps. What I have found to be a tried and true approach to letting someone know you love them is to do the little things which show them "I think about you when you're not here by me."

For instance, although I've never witnessed the reaction, I know for a fact that when my wife gets up in the morning she gets a little smile on her face when I leave the coffee pot full and warm. It tells her that I've thought about her comfort and I have done a little something about it.

Secret love notes hidden in spots where I know she'll go always make her smile. She almost glows when I brush her hair back to give her a light kiss on the neck as she's doing the dishes. Does she notice when I clean the snow off her car before I go to bed so she doesn't have to do it in the morning? I think so. Does it matter when I scoop up our daughter and take her to the park just as momma is reaching her wits end? I'm quite sure it does.

These are the things of which Valentine's Day is made. Saint Valentine was a martyr, thus the concept of giving of yourself. It's not necessarily about what material things you can give to someone, it's about what you can do for them. It means suspending your own needs temporarily and focusing on the needs and desires of someone you love.

For all you executive types, who would rather leave the leg work to the florist, try this simple exercise; Buy the cheapest box of crayons you can find and dig out the red one. Take a sheet of copier paper and draw a big red heart right in the middle of it. Next, draw an arrow through that heart, it's easy, I promise. Now put your lover's initials at the top of the heart and put yours near the bottom. Finish the exercise by handing your crude drawing to your partner with the words "I was thinking about you."

I'll let you finish the story from there.

If my husband really loves me, this Valentine's Day, I won't find any little jewelry boxes or over-wrought bouquets on my desk; I won't be offered prime rib and lobster for dinner. No, I'll know how much he loves me (and understands me) if I get nothing for Valentine's Day.

It helps that I run a personal finance weblog: I'd be foolhardy to trumpet my sweetheart's wasteful spending (maybe I could have him put it on Visa, and then we could refinance our home to add the diamond pendant or dozen red roses to our roof-over-the-head debt load!). I'm a firm believer in putting all our spending cash toward useful objects; I wouldn't turn down a book from my Amazon wishlist, or a coffee mug from a thrift store, or two pounds of my favorite local butter (so I can make my own chocolate torte, yum).

When it comes right down to it, gifts to one's significant other should be based on his or her value system; not on the loudest noise from the marketing juggernaut. Here's a hint: whatever is being promoted via television commercial or newspaper insert or 160x800 tower ad (sorry WalletPop advertisers), probably isn't the ideal gift to express true love. I've never been a fan of diamonds, especially since watching documentaries showing little girls and boys whose arms were cut off with machetes, all because of diamonds. Not to mention my suspicion that the world diamond trade is less than transparent. Roses? I'm working on eating food that's more local and seasonal; if I were to accept roses transported from Argentina, or Chile, or California, I'd feel the weight of the hypocrisy.

I've finally come to know that the price of the present has no relation to the depth of the love. All I want for Valentine's Day is an unspoiled bank account!