The laser pointer is the lazy dog owner's best friend. With a small flick of your wrist, you can send your dog happily chasing after a little red dot, excitedly in a pursuit that never ends. The dot itself never gets covered with slobber or mud, gets lost under the couch, breaks or breaks anything, which puts it ahead of most dog toys. The pet store variety are weak and expensive for how pathetic they are. But there are a few better laser options out there.

I'm not really sure what the actual original purpose of the mass market laser pointer was. Was there a time in pre-PowerPoint offices where anyone needed to point things out on a distant chart in a dark room? I can guarantee that if you tried that in an office today you would not make a favorable impression with your tech prowess. Many years ago someone discovered they entertain cats. Then someone else figured out the same prey drive makes the lasers enchanting to dogs, too.

Somebody brought a laser pointer to my dog run one night many years ago and my dog Jolly and I have been hooked ever since. When he was younger he would be part of a pack of dogs anxiously chasing the dot for 100 feet at a time. Now that he's older the dot is the perfect motivator for going for a walk or climbing the stairs.

My grandfathers were an interesting pair. My dad's dad was a cranky guy who spent most of his time in the basement, working on various electrical doohickies, while my mom's dad was a cranky guy who spent most of his time in his legal office, trying to find ways to uphold the letter of the law while undermining its spirit. I thought of my grandfathers recently when I heard the story of John Webber of Taunton, England. While cleaning out his house, the 70-year old came across an old cup wrapped in tissue paper. He had put it away years earlier and had subsequently forgotten about it.

The cup had been a gift from Webber's grandfather, a scrap merchant. About 5 1/2 inches high, it was made of yellow metal and depicted a female face on either side. Although Webber had played with the toy as a kid, and had even used it as a target for his bb gun, he hadn't given it a good look in years. Wondering if it was worth anything, he took it to the British Museum to get appraised.

Apparently, the cup, which Webber thought was made of brass, was in fact made of a single piece of 22-carat gold that had been pounded and sculpted into a cup shape. What's really interesting is when this pounding and sculpting originally happened: the cup is an artifact of the Persian empire and was made in the third or fourth century B.C. Webber has put the cup up for auction and expects it to fetch somewhere between $200,000 and $500,000.

In the meantime, I'm taking another look at the silver tie pin that my maternal grandfather gave me. On the surface, it's a rather tasteless depiction of a half-naked lady in traditional Thai dress. Still...

Bruce Watson is a freelance writer, blogger, and all-around cheapskate. His other grandfather gave him a lot of secondhand smoke and a weakness for PBR.

The Toy Industry Association's board of directors is beginning to take steps to aggressively address toy safety issues, which were all too common in 2007. According to press accounts, there were 61 toy related product recalls last year, representing an increase of approximately 50% above the total toy safety issues reported for 2006.
With leadership assistance solicited from the American National Standards Institute (ANSI), a proposed plan of action has been drafted for the Toy Industry Association in an effort to more clearly define the product safety responsibilities of toy manufacturers and to more closely monitor toy manufacturing operations. The full program description will be published by ANSI for public review and comment on Feb. 22.

Daniel Grossman, Chairman of the Board of the Toy Industry Association is quoted on the TIA website as stating: "Once again, our industry has responded quickly and effectively when toy safety issues have been identified." The Toy Industry Association represents more than 500 manufacturers, and its members import or produce some 85% of toys distributed in North America, according to the website. Naturally this group has a strong interest in at least trying to keep on top of safety issues.

Nancy Nord, acting chairwoman of the Consumer Product Safety Commission, has taken a justifiably hard line when it comes to toy industry foibles. Associated Press quoted her as stating: "I will not tolerate this industry ... not complying with our regulations." The CPSC is helping by providing additional guidance in the efforts to develop a toy manufacturer standards program and the agency is making it clear that they're not playing around.

I have a bin in my basement. It's filled with brightly-colored plastic toys, each with dozens of buttons and a little plastic grate inside which is housed an electronic speaker. They've come from various sources -- a well-meaning aunt or uncle, a thrift store, a great sale at the supermarket -- and they've all ended in the same place. Banishment.

If someone else can't stand the noise, do you think you're going to be able to? Having been in this parent business for going-on-six years, I can personally vouchsafe for the typical parental behavior when faced with a Toy That Drives One Crazy. First step: Hide the toy. Second step: When the child finds the toy, again driving you crazy, you find a better hiding place, usually a garbage bag on the back porch or in your car trunk. Third step: Deliver bag stuffed with equally annoying toys to the nearest Goodwill or thrift store. Fourth step: Drive away fast, don't look back.

Chances are, that toy that's so alluring to your child in the thrift shop was victim to the four-step crazy-making toy program. You should definitely leave toys that make noise at the thrift store, where they can annoy the staff. After all, they're paid for this!

This post was written as part of a series on how to thrift shop smarter. Read more on what to buy, and not to buy, at thrift stores.