joetheplumber posts

Sometimes stuff keeps floating to the surface no matter how many times you flush. Joe the Plumber has re-appeared in the culture. He's may not be an actual pipeman, but he's proving adept at plumbing new depths of political ignorance.

Check out this nearly incomprehensible TV ad for a 900 number fronted by Mr. Wurzelbacher. You'll be forgiven if you have to play it a couple times to figure out what the heck he's selling. "I'm going to give the American people the opportunity to vote the I.R.S. out!" he vows, getting hot and bothered as he tells you that when it comes to the Internal Revenue Service, "we can vote them out!"

As America moves past the first few weeks of the new year, it feels like everyone is taking stock, considering options, and generally making plans for surviving 2009. Newspapers, magazines, and blogs are rolling out lists of the best companies that are hiring, the best jobs that are open, and the best places to live if you're unemployed. However, before you bolt out and grab a job as a website administrator in Poughkeepsie (or suicide hotline staffer in lower Manhattan), I would like to offer my own suggestion for a career in a growing industry that pays well, features a great deal of exposure, and will enable you to explore your potential for loud, creative douchebaggery.

Punditry has a long and proud history. Although the term originated in India, where pundits (or pandits) were wise or highly educated scholars, it has come to refer to almost any self-proclaimed expert, particularly in the social sciences. In this context, one could argue that punditry is almost as old as human culture, dating back to Roman social satirists like Juvenal and snarky Greek playwrights like Aeschalus. One coulde even argue that Homer was among their number; as soon as he moved from straight reportage about "rosy-fingered dawn" to critical analysis of "endlessly bloviating Odysseus," he entered the punditocracy.

Strange jobs are probably common, but I had to laugh and wonder about job discrimination the other day when I came across an odd job description for the regular, everyday job of copy writer. The ad on Craigslist seemed straightforward enough, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a bit of discrimination.

A part-time, experienced channel editor/copywriter is needed for a social networking web site in San Francisco that focuses on hair loss lifestyle. Editors are needed in various categories, again, as they pertain to hair loss lifestyle. The categories include: Entertainment, travel, news and fashion (hats?).

Here's the part that caught my eye: "Preference given to those who live a hair loss lifestyle." So a bald writer will get preference over me, a man with a full head of hair? Is that fair? I understand that the company wants to hire someone who can best get their message across and knows what they're talking about, and as someone with a Don King type of hairdo if I let it grow for two months, I laughed out loud at the euphemism for being bald. But is putting that request in a job announcement akin to asking for writers who are white, female and have long, brunette hair?

Last week I watched Sarah Palin struggling to find names and professions that had the same traction as Joe the Plumber. In the spirit of helpfulness, I offer these candidates:

1. Paradise, the prostitute
2. Klinton, the crack dealer
3. Wendell, the wife-beater
4. Uberdingle, the rapper
5. Miss Daunonyanees, the Dominatrix
6. Karl, the Marxist
7. Dagwood, the office grunt
8. Stan, the DMV clerk
9. Lynndie, the torturer
10. Michael, the documentary maker

I'd pay to watch the look on Michael Moore's face if she used the last one!

On a more serious note, I found this analysis of the upcoming election consistent with my view of past elections.

One of my wisest friends is encouraging her son to skip college and learn a trade. Her thinking: living a sustainable lifestyle means growing your own vegetables and fruits, baking your own bread, and fixing your own pipes. Her hopes and dreams were eerily foreshadowing of the great national kerfuffle over Joe the Plumber. Now everyone's thinking about plumbers. And seriously: learning a trade instead of pouring tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars into college (often to get jobs that pay tiny wages; raise your hands publishing assistants, private high school teachers, and social workers!) makes financial sense. Not only are plumbers, electricians, and general contractors recession-proof careers, you're paid while you're training. What could be better?

This week, it seems, everyone's thinking about plumbers:

• Even better than being a plumber? Being a green plumber. You'll make more, and you'll be set to take advantage of the dollars flowing toward services that are eco-conscious. Treehugger calls green plumbing "one of the hottest new jobs in the green economy." Green Plumbers must take a 32-hour class for accreditation.
• The New York Times' Green Inc. blog asks if "Joe the Solar Guy" may not be a better Everyman for the next four years. The newest addition to the well-paid trades?

The controversy still rages over Joe the Plumber, who has been raked over the coals by the media and bloggers for asking presidential candidate Barack Obama a question about his tax plan. He's been accused of being a plant and an outright liar, and his divorce and delinquent taxes have been discussed ad nauseum.

Whether you're for or against Joe the Plumber, it's clear that he still represents the American dream. Maybe he's not considering buying a business. Maybe he doesn't have a plumber's license and instead works under someone who does. Maybe he's never going to make a lot of money.

But Joe represents the possibilities that Americans believe in. Someday he could be a business owner and he just might make enough to be considered one of those "high income" people. And indeed, many Americans believe they have a chance to someday be financially successful. But they also know that a strong U.S. economy depends on entrepreneurs.

Joe the Plumber, friend of American taxpayers, has taken a beating over the last couple of days for daring to ask Barack Obama a question many of us would like to ask. He wanted to know how Obama's tax increases on "the wealthy" might affect him if he buys a plumbing business. How dare he ask such a question when he is behind on his taxes, has no plumbing license, and might not even be able to afford to buy this plumbing business!

Joe never claimed to be anything other than a taxpayer with a question. Yet he's been "vetted" by the media and details of his divorce and income tax situation have been blasted all over the Internet. I'm not saying there's necessarily anything wrong with people looking at these public records and discussing them, yet you have to feel sorry for the guy who really didn't ask to be put under a microscope like this. He just wanted to ask a simple question about taxes.

But it got me thinking... The implication from a number of media outlets and bloggers is that since Joe is delinquent on his taxes, he shouldn't be asking Barack Obama a question. I don't know that anyone's been so crude as to actually come out and say that, but I think the harsh criticism of Joe has made it pretty clear that many people think he should shut his mouth.

Like most Americans, plumber Joe Wurzelbacher of Holland, Ohio, would not be hurt by Barack Obama's plans to raise taxes on people making more than $250,000. Wurzelbacher, nonetheless, remains concerned that the Democrat's plan would make it more difficult for him to buy the business where he works.

He was able to confront the Illinois senator directly. Republican John McCain heard about this and used "Joe the Plumber" in what I thought was a successful attempt to paint his opponent as a tax-and-spend liberal. Wurzelbacher's name was mentioned at least 20 times in the debate last night.

So, who is this guy? For one thing, Wurzelbacher is not a licensed plumber, though he claims that is not necessary, according to The Washington Post. According to Bloomberg News, Wurzelbacher owes almost $1,200 in back income taxes. By the way, experts agree that the vast majority of Americans will see their taxes get lowered under the Illinois senator's proposal. Nonetheless, Joe remains concerned.

"You see my house. I don't have a lot of bells and whistles in here, really," the Post quotes the plumber as saying. "My truck's a couple of years old and I'm going to have it for the next 10 years probably. So I don't see [Obama] helping me out."

Most Americans disagree with Wurzelbacher, whose 15 minutes of fame surely have expired by now. Obama's economic message appears to be resonating with voters. Poll after poll shows him increasing his lead over McCain, who is getting desperate -- which means voters unfortunately have not heard the last about Joe the Plumber.

Thank goodness, the race is almost over.