Let me begin by pointing out that I'm a big fan of train travel. I've ridden trains up and down the Eastern Seaboard and across half of Europe. I've hung out in old rail yards, searched out hidden rail tunnels, and once went to a wedding in the O. Winston Link museum. Like my Walletpop colleague Beth Wechsler, I'm a fan of the romance of train travel and would really like to see it come back. Unfortunately, though, I don't think Amtrak is going to make it happen.

Recently, the House of Representatives passed a bill authorizing almost $15 billion to fund Amtrak for the next five years. In addition to covering general operating expenses, the money would be used, with matching grants, to extend rail service into states where it is lacking. The justification for this massive expenditure was the fact that rail, ideally, provides a low-cost travel alternative for consumers.

There's a problem, though. First off, Amtrak isn't really low-cost. According to the Amtrak website, a ticket from Union Station in Washington D.C. to Penn Station in New York City ranges from $98 to just over $200 dollars. By comparison, a bus ticket for the same run generally goes for under $30. While the bus takes a little longer, it offers clean, comfortable seats. Amtrak, on the other hand, always leaves me desperately wanting to shower.

Coach USA is rolling out a $1 fare to ride a double-decker bus between lots of cities on the East Coast, Midwest and Canada. I checked their website megabus.com and it's easy to find and book the fares. I could find $1 fares from New York to DC or Boston. Or Chicago to Milwaukee.

Coach, which is a subsidiary of Stagecoach Group, started two years ago in Chicago and last month celebrated their millionth customer. They picked up another big hub in New York this year that reaches Toronto. Unfortunately there are no cross-over cities (like a Columbus or Pittsburgh) where an ambitious and cheap traveler could connect the two hubs. Megabus also tried California, but didn't get enough riders so they are withdrawing the service. The Megabus model first started in Scotland in 2004 and has spread across Britain since. The buses have wifi and got rave reviews from this Los Angeles Times traveler.

What's different about megabus.com is it's fare structure. The $1 fare (plus 50 cent booking fee) is easy to find if you book far enough in advance. As the seats are snapped up and the date approached, the prices get higher. Even their regular fares are pretty good: From New York I could go to Toronto for $85 tomorrow, $25 in July or $15 in September. Amtrak is $92 and takes 12 hours instead of 10. Greyhound's regular fare is $96, takes 12 hours and the U.S. Greyhound site wouldn't even let me look up the fare. But, it looks like Greyhound Canada is responding to the competition: they offer Greyhound Neon (for New York to Ontario) for "as low as $1" and include wifi.

More about great bus fares and services:

Boltbus

Buses wired to serve

Over the past few months, one of my favorite stories has been the tale of BoltBus. A subsidiary of Greyhound, the bus line charges $25 for a one-way trip from New York to Washington, DC, and $20 for a one-way trip from New York to Boston. While this puts it in competition with the popular Chinatown bus, the real competition is with the airlines. For a fraction of the price of a seat in coach, BoltBus offers a comfortable seat, no long check-ins, and a relaxed ride. Other companies, including DC2NY, MegaBus, and Vamoose have jumped on the bandwagon, and it's pretty clear that relaxing, cheap bus travel is on its way up.

Recently, the bus lines unveiled their next weapon in the war against the airlines: Wi-Fi. All of the bus lines that I mentioned have Wi-Fi installed on their buses, and BoltBus has put electrical outlets on as well, making it possible for passengers to surf the net without wearing down their batteries. In the meantime, riders on all of these buses can do one more thing that airline passengers can't: they can use their cell phones.

Of course, bus lines don't offer snacks, the ride is a little rockier, and they lack the romance of air travel. That having been said, there is no charge for the first piece of luggage, the check-in process is almost instantaneous, and the price is right. Look out, American Airlines!

Bruce Watson is a freelance writer, blogger, and all-around cheapskate. His last couple of flights were a disaster, so BoltBus makes him cackle evilly whenever he thinks about it!

Word comes via the Los Angeles Times about a new program for those who like to save money/headaches on long-distance trips by bypassing the airport in favor of the old reliable Greyhound bus system. Taking a page out of Southwest Airline's book, the Grey Dog is testing a priority seating program. On selected routes, passengers may pay $5 to upgrade to the seat of their choice. The program is only available in the terminal in advance of boarding, though.

I think this program could be even more alluring though, with a slight change; rather than allowing me to choose my seat, I'd like to be allowed to choose those who I don't want to sit beside. A brief tour of the terminal would allow me to rule out the smokers whose clothes reek of Camels, the obsessive talkers ("and my eleventh grandchild was voted most likely to be release on his own recognizance"), those who seldom visit the laundromat, the muttering, seething-with-anger ex-cons, and the cell-phone addicted with no sense of shame or privacy.

Put me in a different row from them, and there aren't any bad seats on a Greyhound, imho.

Thanks to Gadling for the tip