In presenting the ongoing case that America is turning into latter-day Rome, I present the all-you-can-eat buffet. Shamefully wasteful? Possibly, especially when the leftovers are thrown away. Horrifyingly indulgent? To a European, maybe. But in a country where we shield our children from actual porn, the typical endless buffet is one borderline bacchanalian orgy that we can confidently call family-friendly.

As grocery prices spike, there's no better time to acquaint yourself with the basic principles for squeezing every smidgen of value from your next buffet sitting. One of the prime ways to maximize your buffet buck is go for lunch. It's always a few dollars cheaper than dinner (at the Bellagio in Las Vegas, lunch can be as much as $15 cheaper). Going then may also save you from gaining as much weight as you would from a dinner banquet, because you'll still have many hours left in your day to burn off that calorie infusion. You'll also likely want a smaller dinner after all that afternoon food, saving you even more cash later in the day.

Lots of unlimited buffets, such as at the Golden Corral chain, switch dinner pricing in mid- to late-afternoon, but provided it's open continuously, you pay the price charged at the moment you sit down, not when you leave. Plan things right, and you can enjoy the dinner buffet, which may include an expanded menu, at the lunch price. In Vegas and Orlando, two towns packed with crowded buffets, going well outside of the mealtime rush is a smart time-saving strategy, too, because you won't have to wrestle so many other sharp-elbowed customers for the fried shrimp.

Now this is a bad omen.

Mother's Cookies, those pink and white frosted animal cookies we all grew up with (I favored the pink), has abruptly shuttered its doors.

An Oakland, Calif. institution for 92 years, this company experienced the gamut of corporate attempts at money making in the '90s and 00's. Its final incarnation, as Archway & Mother's Cake and Cookie Co. of Battle Creek, Mich., was a holding of private equity firm Catterton Partners, of (where else), Greenwich, CT. It filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, citing the price increase of raw materials, and told workers to go home. It ceased all production as of last week.

According to SFGate.com, Catterton said in a statement it "took a number of actions to remedy" the company's financial crisis, "but these actions were not sufficient to overcome the losses and return Mother's Cake & Cookie Co. and Archway Cookies LLC to profitability."

One of those efforts was to seek financing. "But, as you know, the credit environment is very difficult now," said Meaghan Repko, a spokeswoman for the owners, in New York.

So now Mother's Cookies, source of comfort for millions for almost a century, is a victim of the credit crunch. Is this how the cookie is supposed to crumble?

The unthinkable has happened. The sight of my portfolio of investments has reduced me to tears. Who wouldn't be crying when looking at 40% of their value gone this year? Even worse than the sheer magnitude of my losses... what those losses mean to me and to others.

I'm lucky. I don't need my retirement funds for at least 20 years or more. There is no doubt in my mind that I will have recovered all the lost value well before that. I worry about those who don't have years to wait, though. They're the big losers in all of this. Think about all the Baby Boomers who scrimped and saved to get to retirement, only to see their hard earned dollars massively reduced in a period of a few weeks.

Some Boomer friends of mine who were invested more conservatively have seen their portfolio drop "only" 15%. Imagine the impact of that over 20 years of retirement. These retirees need to draw on their accounts now, and can't wait to recover value. The portfolios of all retirees are going to be depleted much quicker than they thought.

Who would have thought that the people with all their money in certificates of deposit earning 3% or 4% would now look like geniuses? They were missing out on stock market gains, but now are feeling pretty good about the fact that their principal investment was protected.

This is depressing. And each day I tell myself that the bottom has to be near; that my investments can't go down much further than they already have. And each day Wall Street surprises me with a hefty drop in my value. There's not much to be done about my ailing retirement fund, other than to work hard and keep saving for the retirement that will hopefully still be funded when I get there.

Tracy L. Coenen, CPA, MBA, CFE performs fraud examinations and financial investigations for her company Sequence Inc. Forensic Accounting, and is the author of Essentials of Corporate Fraud.

Recent bank failures have required the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation to make payments to depositors. The FDIC is called in when a bank fails and can't give depositors the cash in their bank accounts. A lot of focus has been on the limits of FDIC insurance, so that depositors are protected. But there hasn't seemed to be as much focus on the actual ability of the FDIC to pay claims.

Bankrate.com has a nice article about the FDIC and how it works. The agency is funded with insurance premiums paid by banks for the coverage on their deposits. Can the FDIC run out of money to pay depositors? Yes, the agency could be giving out more than it's bringing in from insurance premiums. But if that happens, the FDIC can borrow money which would be paid back via future collections of insurance premiums paid by banks.

Funds at the FDIC are currently lower than legally allowed. The law requires it to have $1.15 on hand for every $100 of insured deposits sitting in banks. Currently, it has only $1.01 for every $100 of insured deposits. How will this difference be made up? The agency is trying to raise insurance premiums for 2009, so that increase along with a hope that other banks don't fail (further depleting cash reserves) will help the FDIC bring its cash balance back up.

The smart people are currently looking for ways to cut their expenses to save money and feel more financially secure. Today I found a way to save $33 a month without even giving up anything. I looked at my cable bill and decided to make a change.

My cable bill is paid each month via a credit card which I pay in full every billing cycle. I wasn't paying much attention, until I saw that my cable bill for the month was $151. Huh? My bill wasn't that much. I took a look, and saw that my bill used to be $135 a month, until I got a mysterious increase in my internet access. I thought I'd give the cable company a call and see if I couldn't get that extra $16 a month removed.

By the time I got off the phone, my monthly bill was down to $118, and it didn't hurt a bit. As I talked over my bill with the customer service representative, I was reminded that I was paying $13 a month for HBO. If I had to guess, I'd say I watch HBO once a month at the very most. Time to give up the HBO that I won't even miss anyway.

If we all took the law into our own hands based upon our personal beliefs, what would happen? I'd venture to guess that we'd either have chaos, or a bunch of us would end up in jail, or a little bit of both.

That's why I get upset when law enforcement refuses to enforce legitimate laws and court orders. The police and sheriffs aren't in place to make personal decisions about the laws. Sure, they exercise their own judgment on a certain level each day, but they don't get to completely disregard laws and court orders whenever they feel like it.

That's not stopping the Cook County Sheriff's Office. They've decided that they're not going to evict tenants of properties which have been foreclosed, even with proper documentation and the laws on the side of the banks. Sheriff Tom Dart says he's just making the mortgage holders (the banks) accountable. He's quoted as saying, "These mortgage companies only see pieces of paper, not people, and don't care who's in the building."

What gives him the right to make the determination that the tenants should or should not be evicted? Nothing, really. The law is not on his side on this one. Yes, I feel sorry for tenants who get evicted from a property because of a foreclosure if they've been good tenants and have paid their rent. But whether we feel sorry for them is not the question. A lawful court order for eviction means the tenant should be evicted, and the sheriff oversees it.

While the sheriff may think he's helping people, he actually might be hurting people indirectly. Anything that gets in the way of a bank taking possession of a property might cause banks to make fewer loans. They depend on foreclosure as a part of the loan process, and law enforcement's failure to help carry out the legal action may have a negative effect on loans.

Tracy L. Coenen, CPA, MBA, CFE performs fraud examinations and financial investigations for her company Sequence Inc. Forensic Accounting, and is the author of Essentials of Corporate Fraud.

I guess sex still sells. And sells well.

This blog post in the New York Times writes of a Wall Street area "gentlemen's" club owner who says his business has risen 20% since all this financial sturm und drang has begun.

Call it the retail therapy of the Master of the Universe set. When things look bleakest, damn the wallet, and go over the top. That's why this particular business owner decided to introduce a premium package: The $1,000 lap dance.

Ken and Daria Dolan, America's First Family of Personal Finance, answer your money questions every Friday.

Click here to ask Ken and Daria your question.

The financial crisis is taking on a new victim: retirement. Planning and saving is hard enough, let alone trying to do it in the midst of a market meltdown! These are unprecedented times, folks, and your nest egg could get hit hard if you aren't careful.

We have heard from many of you wondering where to put your retirement money without the risk of losing it all. Here's our answer designed to keep you on the right savings path and protect your money in our shaky economy.

Dear Ken and Daria,

I am 20 years away from retirement and have been re-considering my portfolio allocation. What is the right mix in this economy?

-Gary

Not sure how to allocate your retirement funds? Visit Dolans.com for our complete library of 401k calculators and worksheets to determine what's best for you.

As if one trip to a luxury spa resort wasn't enough for American International Group (AIG) following its taxpayer-funded bailout, the company had plans to do it all over again.

50 AIG managers were scheduled to do a deluxe retreat at the Ritz-Carlton resort in Half Moon Bay. The company said it was going to host 150 top-producing agents for educational purposes.

The cost of this "educational opportunity?" Ritz Carlton rooms go for $300 to $1,200 a night, plus high costs for meals, drinks, and entertainment. If the earlier trip is any indication, this whole extravaganza could cost the company around $500,000.

Outrage from taxpayers has led management to cancel this outing, and lawmakers are relieved. Some defended the trips as standard fare for high-level producers for insurance companies. The independent agents win these trips by selling a lot of insurance products. Yet it seems excessive in light of the taxpayer assistance required by AIG.

With taxpayers on the hook for billions of dollars of loans made to AIG to help keep them in business, the company needs to find another way to give incentives to the sales force. Standard industry practice or not, these trips don't go over well during a time when belts are being tightened by the little guys. The cancellation of the trip is good news for now. Let's see what AIG comes up with next.

Tracy L. Coenen, CPA, MBA, CFE performs fraud examinations and financial investigations for her company Sequence Inc. Forensic Accounting, and is the author of Essentials of Corporate Fraud.

According to some estimates, the average American household carries nearly $10,000 in credit card debt alone. If you're only able to make the minimum payments each month, you'll have a hard time keeping up with accumulating interest, and you may never make a real dent in that balance.

One of the easiest things you can do to alleviate your personal credit crisis is to simply call your credit card company and ask for a lower rate.

Sometimes you'll get lucky, spend two minutes on the phone, and the customer service agent will gladly slash your interest rates right then and there. Others play hardball and say that they can't do it. That's when you ask for a supervisor, and explain to the supervisor that if they can't reduce your rates, you'll be forced to transfer your balance to another credit card. If they want to keep your business (and they do), they'll help you out. A US PIRG study found that 56% of consumers who called their credit card company were granted lower rates within five minutes. On average, those rates dropped by 5.5 percentage points.

While you're on the phone, it can't hurt to fish for other bargains as well. True story -- when a friend called his credit card company to activate a new card, he finished the activation process and the customer service agent asked "Is there anything else I can do for you today?" He replied, "I don't know -- is there?" To his surprise and delight, she answered, "Well, I can give you a $25 credit on your account." Hey, you never know unless you ask!

AOL Money & Finance writer and editor Zac Bissonnette is a sophomore at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, and an expert on getting a great education without going broke. Got a college question? Leave a comment and he'll get back to you!

The Wall Street Journal recently took a look (subscription required) at the aggressive marketing of prepaid debit cards on college campuses.

What is a prepaid debit card? It's just like a regular debit card, except that it isn't hooked up to a checking account. You have to transfer money to it from a bank account, and there are hefty fees for activating the card, withdrawing money from ATMs and, get this, not using the card regularly. Fraud protection tends to be limited and, unlike a credit card, you can't establish a credit history to help qualify for better rates on student loans or a mortgage.

All of this raises an interesting question: why would anyone get a prepaid debit card? I can't even imagine.

The only advantage would seem to be that you can't rack up credit card debt or overdraft fees, but it's also possible to avoid those two things by not spending money you don't have. Either way, the insane fees far outweigh any benefit and the reason these are being pushed is that so many colleges have kicked credit card companies off campus.

Maybe it's time to give prepaid debit cards the boot too.

Not long ago, museums around the country had a Museum Day. Now theaters are getting in the act.

October 16, a Thursday, is what's being called Free Night of Theater 2008. That said, some dates, on Friday and Sunday nights, for instance, are also being offered for free.

Theaters in more than 100 cities around the country will offer a night of drama for free. When I got wind of this, I hopped on over to the web site, looked up Cincinnati and promptly groaned. Every play, except "Death of a Salesman," is currently sold out. If I had known about this earlier, I might have scored some tickets to "Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat." Argh.

But, hey, maybe the rest of you folks out there will fare better. Check here for show listing sites by city.

It's one reservation per person, and frankly, I'd go look now and sign up because these tickets are going fast. I looked around in various cities, and a lot of places are sold out, but there are still gems open, like August Wilson's "Radio Golf" in Kansas City, Missouri. So get over to the web site, whether you love theater or theatre and try to find a free seat.

And as they say backstage: Break a leg!

Geoff Williams is a freelance journalist and the author of C.C. Pyle's Amazing Foot Race: The True Story of the 1928 Coast-to-Coast Run Across America (Rodale).

Brace yourself for more changes in the airline industry. American Airlines, the company that paved the way for all the other airlines to charge for checking your luggage, is considering more fees for fliers.

Charges for checked luggage have been a real moneymaker for airlines, with most estimating several hundred million dollars in additional revenue since adding the charges, usually in the neighborhood of $15-$25 per regular-sized bag. The charges are also likely doing a lot to save the airlines on fuel, as passengers try harder to lighten their loads and avoid the fees.

While the baggage fees have been successful for airlines, they're still struggling financially, so American Airlines plans to lead the way once again with new a la carte pricing for "extras" on flights. Things that up to now have been "free," or rather, included in your fare price, will be "unbundled." Starting in 2009, American will introduce charges for things like beverages, blankets, special seating, and more. This new price structure will allegedly reduce the baseline fare (this frequent flier is skeptical) so that only those who want extras will have to pay for them.

There are some things that it really pays to spend extra money on; houses, beds, and bicycles. But there are some things that we buy that are simply money drains. Here are five purchases where it pays to be cheap.

1. Car. A depreciating asset, you lose money the minute you drive it off the lot. And then they continue to depreciate. I buy cheap, used cars with about 30,000 miles on them. I try to pay no more than $12,000 or so and I still think that is too much. My next car will be a hybrid of some sort with gas mileage 50 MPG or more. If I need a van for a trip, I will rent it.


2. Higher education. Unless you are going to Harvard or one of the big name schools, it really doesn't matter. Most of us can get a great education at our local state schools for a whole lot less money. Especially for a general liberal arts degree, it doesn't make sense to be $100,000 or more in debt to get that bachelors. Save your money for the masters or professional school.


3. Household products. Save a fortune every year by buying all household products in bulk. Cleaning supplies, detergents, bathroom products, paper goods and kitchen staples can be bought cheaply at one of the large stores. Stock up for 1-3 months at a time to save money and gas.


4. Children's clothes. Kids grow so fast, especially when they are little. Take hand me downs, shop thrift shops and buy at cheaper stores like Target and Kohls. You will find high quality at reasonable prices. As they get older and want nicer clothes, have them earn a part of the cost so they appreciate the value.


5. Hotel rooms. I travel all over the country for speaking engagements and all the hotel rooms look the same. Unless it is a five-star hotel at over $500 per night, I rarely notice a difference between expensive and cheap rooms. When traveling on your own dime, look for the cheap rooms and spend the extra money on a nice dinner out.

Barbara Bartlein is the People Pro. Join her for her new webinar on relationships. For info see: Webinar

Despite my Ivy League MBA and my role as a founder of a personal finance web site, I haven't done much in the way of planning my financial situation. All of my financial milestones in the past decade or so have been accidental, serendipitous, or just a gut response to a disaster.

I was pregnant pretty much the moment after I was engaged, at 28. Through the birth of three boys (all of which came along a little sooner than I expected), I worked in a unusual career that I made up out of whole cloth, starting out in dotcom operations management, finance and product development and ending as a professional blog producer. While it paid fairly well, it did not pay nearly as well as the jobs of my business school peers; and it became very difficult to make extra room in my budget to pay my huge student loan payments. Instead of paying down my student loans, I've only compounded them.

One thing I did brilliantly was to buy a house in an up-and-coming neighborhood immediately upon getting pregnant with my first child, and never refinancing it. Buying it was a gut reaction to the nesting hormones, but it turned out wonderfully. Four years later a Starbucks went in two blocks away, and my home's value doubled. Early on, I took out a home equity loan to (hiding my head in shame) pay for our wedding; I'm thankful I never refinanced the house, keeping my ARM that was garnered at the peak of my credit score. While I was seriously guilty of living outside of my means as a young bride and mama, after I became pregnant with my second son I buttoned down the hatches, canceling all my credit cards and vowing to live on what I made.

That one really good decision -- never to refinance my mortgage -- has paid off with a low-ish monthly payment and a fast-reducing principal balance. And with my new philosophy of "no debt no way never," I know at least I won't be facing a tough credit review at my local bank.