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When I was in college, I once visited a friend at another university. As with many such visits, I spent much of my time in an alcoholic haze, wandering from apartment to apartment, meeting my friend's friends, drinking odd beverages, and generally getting down Hunter S. Thompson-style. Good times.

In one apartment, I remember watching some 90210 on the occupants' big screen TV. Over the course of the show, I noticed that they kept referring to it as "the TV that sperm bought." Finally, unable to contain my curiosity, I asked about the nickname. Laughing, one of them told me that the roommates had pooled their resources from selling sperm and had used the proceeds to purchase a TV. Since then, my research has shown me that, regardless of the the truth of the roommates' claims, it certainly could be true. Advertised sperm donation rates vary from $1 to $200 per week; most donors can expect somewhere around $40 per donation. Given that you can only deposit sperm every five days, your career as a sperm donator will probably only net you enough money to eat at McDonald's. Although, if you save carefully, your genetic material could translate into a sweet home theater system.

When I was a college student, sperm donation seemed like an interesting idea. After all, I'd be paid for doing something that I usually did pro bono, would be able to make some poor ladies really happy, and would pick up a little bit of dough on the side. In the meantime, I was legally protected; there was no way that the little Brucies and Brucinias that were wandering the earth could track their way back to me. Then I read the small print.

In Dr. Strangelove, General Ripper starts WWIII because he is convinced the commies wanted to sap his precious bodily fluids. Now comes news of a ground-breaking idea in the entertainment and conception business that does just that. Sperm For Tickets is an Irish internet-based business that has been test-marketing the concept of offering free tickets to the European music gathering in exchange for precious bodily fluids.

Apparently, the site's clients, clinics in Ireland strapped for male seed, are looking for access to the swimmers of healthy, music-loving guys. Unfortunately, for you, our reader, the company was swamped with respondents that requested a 'donation pack', i.e. specimen bottle and courier mailer, and followed through as directed in order to claim their free tickets.

According to NME.com, sperm donations in Ireland had dried up by 40%. Here, they seem to have hit the mother lode with this concept (although I suspect Sperm for Beer would do even better).

Now, if we could only get them to discard the seed of those who choose tickets to see (band you despise the most).