Radio, TV, infomercials, and phone calls--stop already. This election has been the longest one I can remember; it has gone on and on. At this point, hasn't everyone made up their mind? I made mine up shortly after the primaries. Will another ad or two make a difference?

Apparently the candidates think so. Obama spent a fortune last week renting time on every major station for his infomercial. He plans to release another ad today showing McCain's ties to Cheney. McCain, who doesn't have the war chest of money like Obama, went on Saturday Night Live to increase his reach. By far, the best part of the McCain campaign is Tina Fey's rendition of Sarah Palin.

The ads are endless. That is all you see on TV and if you try to escape in your car, they are on the radio. I try to hide in the house, but folks are coming to the door and calling me on the phone. At this point, I will vote for anyone who doesn't call me with a recorded message.

It raises the question whether this is the best way to do things. With so many folks struggling in this bleak economy, couldn't the political money be put to use helping people? It would be an interesting campaign if every dollar spent had to be matched with a charitable donation. Just think how many folks this could help.

I could enjoy the ads then, knowing that every dollar spent actually helped someone else. I would give more to the campaigns knowing that the money was put to good use. I can't wait until Tuesday is over.

Barbara Bartlein is the People Pro. For her FREE e-mail newsletter, please visit: The People Pro.

Last week I watched Sarah Palin struggling to find names and professions that had the same traction as Joe the Plumber. In the spirit of helpfulness, I offer these candidates:

1. Paradise, the prostitute
2. Klinton, the crack dealer
3. Wendell, the wife-beater
4. Uberdingle, the rapper
5. Miss Daunonyanees, the Dominatrix
6. Karl, the Marxist
7. Dagwood, the office grunt
8. Stan, the DMV clerk
9. Lynndie, the torturer
10. Michael, the documentary maker

I'd pay to watch the look on Michael Moore's face if she used the last one!

On a more serious note, I found this analysis of the upcoming election consistent with my view of past elections.

Could someone please come up with an online tax calculator that includes all of each of John McCain's and Barack Obama's tax proposals? I wrote a few weeks ago about how alchemytoday.com came up with a tax calculator using data from the non-partisan Tax Policy Center. Yesterday the Obama campaign came out with a tax calculator on its own website showing how much your own taxes will be under his plan.

I got a flurry of comments on the old post saying how Obama's tax calculator wasn't non-partisan. Um, yeah, I realize that. That's why I sent readers to this non-partisan tax calculator.

I still think we need a more comprehensive, non-partisan tax calculator that takes into account the various sources of income and deductions. (Though, the more complex a calculator is, the more it's like really doing your taxes and so unappealing.)

The Obama family has officially announced that they'll be getting an all-American mutt -- or at least a rescue dog. After Barack Obama and his wife Michelle made a public promise to their daughters to get a dog after the elections, animal groups got really excited. Since the Obamas don't have pets now, it seemed likely they could be swayed into one of the warring dog camps: those who buy purebreds and those who rescue mutts (and also purebreds) from shelters.

The American Kennel Club launched an online poll asking which breed they should purchase. More than 42,000 people voted and they chose the poodle, with the wheaten terrier coming in second. The AKC had narrowed the field down to breeds that don't cause allergies because one of the Obama girls is allergic to dogs. (And I think the poodle won because the other breeds were either small, creepy or both (like the Chinese Crested, which is mostly bald.)

Meanwhile, 50,000 animal lovers signed a petition from the Best Friends Animal Network, urging the Obamas to adopt a shelter dog. That doesn't necessarily mean they're getting a mutt. According to the Humane Society of the United States, about one-quarter of dogs in shelters are purebreds.

Using numbers from the non-partisan Tax Policy Center, the website AlchemyToday came up with a calculator to see how much Barack Obama would raise your taxes. It's a nifty device that should help clarify for people the big differences in economic policy in this election.

Are you making less than $603,000? If so, Obama isn't going to raise your taxes, the data show.

According to a Gallup Poll, 53% of Americans think Obama is going to raise their taxes, compared with just 34% who suspect the same of McCain. That means that at least 48% of Americans don't really understand what Obama is going to do and one-third don't understand what McCain is proposing. Where would so many people get the crazy idea that Obama's secret plan is to raise taxes? Well, it could be because John McCain tells them that every chance he gets.

When John McCain picked Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, wildlife lovers cringed for two reasons. The first is that she seems like just the kind of smart, young leader who has battled corruption and government waste that could get not so environmentally friendly Republicans elected. The second is that Palin herself has been on the side of hunters instead of wildlife watchers--even when the fiscal numbers are not on hunting's side.

Palin--in addition to vowing to sue to stop the listing Polar Bears as an endangered species--has put the weight of the state behind defeating a ballot measure that would have limited the aerial shooting of wolves. Nationwide aerial hunting has been banned since 1972's Airborne Hunting Act, but Alaska gets around that by saying the hunters are working for the state to control predators. The idea is to produce more moose and caribou to hunt.

The Alaska Fish and Game Department has been allowing aerial wolf hunting--even though voters said no to it twice--for since 2003. (The legislature later overturned the voters' decision.) But this time Alaskans voted 92,781 to 74,124 to allow it.

When I was a kid, my mother taught me that politics and religion were two subjects that one should never discuss. Unfortunately, those were always my two favorites. In the grand scheme of things, they strike me as the only two topics that really are worthy of continued, sustained discussion and reflection over the course of a lifetime. While I'm sure that there are people who are still talking about the Reuben Stoddard/Clay Aiken showdown of a couple of years ago, I would have to say that American Idol, Iron Man, and even the return of Indiana Jones must always take a back seat to the great battle between conservatism and liberalism and the question of free will.

For this reason, I particularly love Presidential election years, as it seems like it's the only time when it's socially acceptable to talk politics. Most of the time, people throw out a few questions to subtly suss out their conversational partner's political beliefs. If the two people agree, then the conversation rolls right along as they trade attacks on the demon candidate du jour. If not, conversation usually moves on to safer waters.

During election years, though, it seems like we all have an excuse for having tough talks about our hopes for the future, where we believe the country is headed, and all that fun stuff. Better yet, we get to sport T-shirts, bumper stickers, signs, tattoos, and assorted other paraphernalia that shows off our political beliefs. Recently, I discovered some particularly fun campaign swag. While the more staid among us are sporting mature, adult Obama and McCain buttons, the "McCain/Methuselah 2008: Why waste over 2000 years of experience?" pin really gave me a huge smile. And, to be honest, I felt a funny little tickle when I saw the "Obama: the Audacity of Inexperience" items at Cafe Press. Of course, if you really want to slip off the radar, you could go with "Chelsea in '16: The Pantsuits Have Been Passed to a New Generation."

While the pins are a lot of fun, my favorite souvenir in this election cycle has been the Presidential condoms. Practice Safe Policy is selling Obama and McCain condoms. The Obama-lactic states that one should "Use with good judgment," while the McCain membrane notes that it's "Old but not expired." The sheaths are priced at $9.95 for two, which seems fairly expensive. However, nobody ever said that Free Speech was cheap!

Bruce Watson is a freelance writer, blogger, and all-around cheapskate. It was incredibly hard for him to avoid slipping into shallow, puerile puns on this post.

The main challenge facing presidential hopefuls John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton is to convince voters that they understand the needs of average Americans. Yet the more voters get to know them, the clearer it becomes that they lead lives that are far from ordinary.

McCain, Obama and Clinton all have prevailed against daunting odds to be among the most powerful people in the country. Their success has also made them celebrities and they have made tidy sums of money writing best-selling books. They have received a slew of awards from their many admirers and have been both lampooned and cheered as guests on "Saturday Night Live."

To understand what these presidential contenders will do if elected, voters need to first examine their respective political records. But we can also glean insights from taking a look at the personal experiences and individual choices these three remarkable people have made:

The latest newsworthy item in the U.S. presidential race is the statement by Cindy McCain, wife of Republican candidate John McCain, that she will not release her personal tax returns. On Thursday's Today show (video below), she says that it's a privacy issue and she would not release her tax returns, even if her husband was elected president.

Of course, the Democrats are making a big deal about this, saying that when John Kerry was campaigning for president, his wife released her separate tax returns. So what? She made her choice, and Cindy McCain is making hers. It's suggested that John McCain is not making "full disclosure" by not releasing his wife's separate tax returns.

I say too bad. Even though he may have benefited from her family's fortune, the law doesn't say she has to release her tax returns. That is her private information and she is not the candidate. Would it make for some interesting reading? Probably. But I don't have any problem with Cindy McCain refusing to produce her tax returns. What is there really to be gained from seeing them, other than to fulfill our curiosity?


Tracy L. Coenen, CPA, MBA, CFE performs fraud examinations and financial investigations for her company Sequence Inc. Forensic Accounting, and is the author of Essentials of Corporate Fraud.

Income tax information is generally private, but in the case of presidential candidates, it's not. Their invasion of privacy makes for hours of fun for those of us interested in how much money others make. Here's how the numbers shook out for 2007 tax returns:

John McCain:
Adjusted gross income $386,527
Charitable contributions $105,467
Federal income tax $118,660
Actual tax return here (large file).

Other interesting information: McCain gave $105,467 to charity, which was 27% of his income. He also made just over $110,000 from books he's written.