Every year, the National Retail Foundation releases a survey about what toys kids want for the holidays. It doesn't change that much, really -- girls want dolls, boys want cars, both want Nintendo Wii. The big news this year is that Barbie is battling it out with Hannah Montana for girls' affections, Bratz luckily are losing steam, and Dora the Explorer unfortunately fell off the list. For boys, Star Wars and Hot Wheels replaced Spider-Man and Thomas the Tank fell off in desirability.

2008 Top Toys For Girls
1. Barbie (last year's rank: 1)
2. Hannah Montana (2)
3. Dolls - generic (3)
4. Bratz (2)
5. Nintendo Wii (7)

2008 Top Toys For Boys
1. Video Games (last year's rank: 2)
2. Nintendo Wii (3)
3. Legos (6)
4. Cars - generic (4)
5. Transformers (1)

I've been reading a lot about ethics lately and have been interested to see how game theory (think A Beautiful Mind and little tic-tac-toe grids with choices for each of the 'players' as column and row headings) affects our choices as parents. It turns out that ethics are taught at home, not at business school (makes you wonder about the early childhood of the CEOs of our favorite financial institutions, don't it?).

When I read today's "Motherlode" column about parenting with bribes, I was, frankly, amazed. Lisa Belkin points us to a story on the New York Moms blog about a lovely little bit of game theory as exercised by a parent who was done with sibling rivalry. A child would get fifty cents at the end of the day if he was better-behaved than his sibling; but if both were perfect, they would each get a dollar (I've illustrated this in game theory-ese, to the right).

According to Amy, her children (four and seven years old) chose the mutually beneficial outcome, even though psychological experiments with young adults typically show that competitive behavior will often void the mutually beneficial outcome. Amy set up what may be a perfect (if minorly expensive at $2 a day) game - the word for a set of choices and outcomes - proving that her children are, indeed, rational.

I've bribed my children very occasionally with mixed results; my best outcomes were with paying my oldest son, who's six, to "babysit" his little brothers while I took a shower, a nap, or worked out in the garden. Have you paid for good behavior? Has it worked?

High-school seniors are now filling out college applications, while their parents freak out about how they're going to pay the five-figure yearly tuition. My many friends who are parents to kids of all ages are wondering how they're going to balance their 401(k)s with 529 plans.

Ken and Daria Dolan have good advice in their recent blog posting about affording college, but I need to add my two cents:

• Skip the Ivy League for now, and focus on more affordable state schools and community colleges, at least for the first two years.
• Don't break your back paying your kids' way through school; have them help pay their way .
  

As boomers are looking forward to retirement, many are realizing that their kids are broke. Many young adults get into severe credit traps while in college. Average student loans among the two-thirds of college undergraduates who have borrowed rose an estimated 5 percent in the past year along, to $22,000. Many college students also graduate with credit-card debt.

What is a parent to do? You don't want your kids to default on their loans or receive a poor credit rating, but should you be on the hook for it? Yet many parents are finding that is exactly the predicament they are in. They co-signed for school loans and now have to pay them if the kids can't.

Here are some steps you can take to get/keep your kids out of debt.

• Look at state/city schools. Limit the debt by utilizing local schools, especially for undergraduate work. The expensive, private, schools are not the best investment for a liberal arts degree.
• Limit borrowing. Try to have your kids earn as much of their college money as possible. Add what you have saved and try not to take loans.
• Teach kids to live frugally. Once out of college, they may need to live modestly so they can pay down their debt. Good jobs are hard to find these days, so they have to know how to live cheap.
• Avoid using credit cards. It is too easy to caught up in spending more than is coming in. Make sure your kids pay their balances in full so they are not paying interest.
• Set up a repayment plan. Help your kids set up a reasonable plan to repay the debt. They have to realize that it is their responsibility, not yours.

Barbara Bartlein is the People Pro. For tips to improve your relationships, please visit: Marriage Tips.

That's because of the free Web access. Apple computers, being cutting-edge, are much less useful without internet access, so its dozen-odd floor models are eternally connected to the Web. That's where the kids come in.

A decade ago, when fewer people had their own computers, if you wanted to get online when you weren't home, you had to go to an internet cafe. But today, moneyed people tote Blackberries and wifi-enabled laptops, so the American internet cafe is all but dead. Except that many high school kids are too young to have jobs and usually don't have their own laptops. So they can't get online at Starbucks or Panera Bread, like the rest of us. They go to the Apple Store, where they can borrow the computer without charge or time limit.

That's attraction enough for those too young to have private Web access (and for those with prying parents back home). But then there's the fact that most Apple computers now come with built-in cameras. Lots of kids are hitting the Apple Store just to take shots of themselves with the webcam. Facebook will take and post a shot of you directly from your profile page. In fact, one Michigan teen just started a new Facebook group called "I Only Go 2 The Apple Store To Take Photos and Put Them On Facebook." There are already 68 members.

Unsure what to do this weekend? Let me plan it for you.

Don't take me too seriously. I can hardly handle navigating my own weekends, and I'd break under the pressure if even one or two readers asked me for help. But I do have an idea, which I found on a fellow writer's blog, Atlanta On the Cheap, just to give credit where credit is due. And it's a web site that any WalletPop reader living in Atlanta should know about.

But I digress. This Saturday is Museum Day, sponsored by Smithsonian Magazine and the esteemed Smithsonian Museum, arguably the greatest museum ever and a must-see anytime you visit Washington, D.C.

When I was a young adult I couldn't wait to leave home and get out on my own. It really wasn't that hard to do -- I made good money as a waitress and cheap places were plentiful. When I went to nursing school in Colorado Springs, tuition was $700 a semester including books and I could make enough in the summer to pay for school. I lived in a nice cabin for $60 a month that included heat and cable. Boy, are those days gone.

College graduates now face thousands of dollars of debt as they pick up their diplomas. Two-thirds (65.7%) of 4-year undergraduate students graduate with an average student loan debt of $19,237. Graduate and professional students borrow even more, with the additional debt for a graduate degree ranging from $27,000 to $114,000. Many graduates see little choice to get out of debt except move back with the folks.

These boomerangers are everywhere. In 2007, 14.5 million children age 18-24 lived at home, up from 6.4 million in 1960, according to U.S. Census figures. Moving back home has become the new normal. So many kids are doing so that there is no longer a stigma.

If you build it, they will come. But not necessarily.

A recent three-part report in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reveals that the building spree by Milwaukee Public Schools is a dismal failure.

The $102 million initiative to revamp buildings was supposed to get students into local neighborhood schools and improve education. Instead, newly furnished classrooms are used for storage, and half-empty buildings are sprinkled throughout the district. Many specialty teachers in the fields of science, art and music have been downsized in budget cuts while enrollment has continued to tumble.

Like many urban school districts, Milwaukee Public Schools works with some of the poorest children in the city. Many of the children literally do not have parents. They may be living with a grandparent, uncle, aunt or other relative. At the school where my husband works, more than 20 children are bused to school from a homeless shelter. Even those who are lucky enough to have a biological parent often have only one. At a recent open house at an elementary school of approximately 200 children, only six fathers showed up.

It is clear that what these children need are parents, not just buildings. And if they do not have parents involved in their education, someone else better be available. Instead of facilities and expensive buildings, the money would have been better spent with additional staffing in the classroom, mentors for individual development, and tutors for special help. The $102 million could have purchased a lot of services for these children and their families.

I was strolling through the men's clothing department at Wal-Mart yesterday and realized something: it's not that cheap.

Plain, ugly, Faded Glory jeans were $12.88 and oP polos are $13. Of course that's a lot cheaper than Macy's but it's also pretty poor quality clothing. A lot of families will head to Wal-Mart because it seems like it would be a cheap place to do back to school shopping but the reality is that you can do much, much better. Here are a few ideas:

• TJMaxx and Marshalls: if you limit your kids (and yourself) to the clearance rack, you should be able to find plenty of nice, name brand stuff for less than you'll pay for much lower quality stuff at Wal-Mart. Example: I recently found American Eagle jeans for $10 at TJMaxx. That's less than the Faded Glory ones are at Wal-Mart, even though American Eagle jeans retail in the $40 range.
• Plato's Closet: The absolute best place for teens. With brands like American Eagle and Abercrombie in gently used condition at 80% off mall prices, it's worth a bit of a drive. Bring friends!
• Steve & Barry's: Recently filed for bankruptcy but still operating all of its stores, this chain offers shoes, sweatshirts, jeans, t-shirts, etc all at $8.88! Great place to buy stuff with college logos.

Also, check local thrift shops and consignment shops, if you can talk your kids into it. With stores like TJMaxx and Steve & Barry's, you should be able to do your back to school shopping just as cheap, if not cheaper, than you could at Wal-Mart and you/your kids will look infinitely cooler.

It costs a lot to raise children. That's the common wisdom.

But it really doesn't have to. Of course, you can do it the American way, and surround them with stuff for their edification and safety. Or you can do it another way. Which means spending time with them and eschewing the bells and whistles our culture says will make us happy.

I dunno. There's a lot I didn't do, and my kids have still turned out OK. So far.

Two generations ago most families lived on working farms. All family members participated in the work and had responsibilities. School was designed to give the children the summer off primarily because they were needed on the farm to help with the planting and harvest of crops. Children had responsibilities and a role in the family.

Fast forward to the present. Most families no longer live in the country and in too many homes children have no real work to do. With the advent of TV in the 50's, an amazing change happened to the role of children in this country: their primary role became "a consumer."

This change began gradually with Saturday morning cartoons and cereal commercials. These cereal ads were really the first attempt to market directly to kids. Perhaps you remember them? Cereal with submarines and other toys in the box so the kids beg, cried, and screamed until their parents bought it.

A new study reported in USA Today finds that "kids meals" at chain and fast food restaurants are too high in calories for a single meal. According to the analysis from the Center for Science in the Public Interest, some meals contain more than 1,000 calories, which is the typical daily calorie count per DAY for elementary school children. Considering that the average child, under 18, eats 167 restaurant meals in a year, that is a lot of calories.

This does not surprise me. All you have to do is look around. When I was a kid, we were all skinny. It was unusual to see a heavy-set kid in the class. Now I go to my daughter's swim class and the majority of the kids are overweight. Granted, kids may be sitting more, but I vote that the eating habits are more of the problem.

With gas prices soaring and the economy stagnating, a lot of families are looking to cut the back to school shopping budget this year.

A suggestion if you fall into that category: try Target. The prices are in the same range as Wal-Mart, cheaper on certain items on sale, and the quality is so much better -- essentially comparable to Old Navy or similar lower-end well-known labels.

A quick search through the clearance section of Target's website turns up a great sale on Cherokee-brand corduroys: all boys sizes $7.49, 50% off the retail price of $14.99. Take a look and, if your son is into cords, buy them in both colors:

• Boys' Cherokee® Carpenter Corduroy Pants - Ebony
• Boys' Cherokee® Carpenter Corduroy Pants - Olive

To browse the rest of Target's back to school clothing selection, click here for boys and here for girls.

I distinctly remember how cowed I felt when I visited the house of another family from my birthing class. It was my first child, and the classmates from our birth preparation series were all we could see of our "peers" as new parents. We had one Baby Einstein video. They had the entire Costco-packaged series! How could we ever compete!

Somehow, we managed to compete on the television viewing playing field, but now it turns out our friends' well-meaning "investment" in $100 or so of baby videos may have been a stunningly bad one. Slate reports that baby television and videos? Might cause autism. (Related: we're having behavioral issues with our oldest son that are pretty major.) (Also related: we just cancelled cable two months ago.)

The aha! moment came when researchers (and separately, the Slate reporter) realized that autism rates began increasing at about the same time VCRs and cable television started becoming common in homes. The problem is in the two-dimensional stimuli; too much, and the brain, craving three-dimensional stimuli, goes off on a wrong course.

It was an argument that I lost with my husband when the kids were young and money was tight. The kids aren't so young anymore, but money is still tight...and I still think it was a really good idea.

"How about learning to give the boys haircuts?" Their father -- a carpenter by profession and, well, good with his hands (which I am not) wouldn't consider it.

But if he had (or if I could have risked it) here's how I would have proceeded: