Recession

Get out of debt guru Dave Ramsey is now in the hookup business. He has provided his fans with a list of recession- and debt-themed pick-up lines.

Here are a few of the best ones, with an archive of past ideas here:

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd be in a higher tax bracket.

I won't ask to borrow your phone number, since borrowing is stupid. Will you just give it to me instead?

The sobering economy is making consumers enjoy a drink at home rather than get happy at the neighborhood bar. Drinkers are also finding pleasure in cheaper brands.

New data released by the Distilled Council Spirits of the U.S. show a 2.2 % volume growth in retail liquor sales in 2009, but alcohol business in restaurants, bars, hotels and nightclubs slipped 3%. Overall, the amount of liquor sold by suppliers was up 1.4%,but that's hardly comforting considering it's the tiniest bump since 2001.

So don't feel badly if your wallet is allowing you to buy spirits that are mostly preferred by college students. You have company in fellow Americans.

Tequila led the race with a 5.2% rise in volume, followed by vodka at 4.9 %. Heavyweight brands such as the mighty Grey Goose, owned by Bacardi, hit the bottom, slipping 5.1%. The reigning lines were lowest-priced brands such as Popov, which grew the fastest with volume rising 5.5%.

Industry folks are a tad concerned about the data findings. Distilled Spirits Council CEO Peter Cressy said in a release that policy makers should refrain from raising alcohol taxes.

"Restaurants and bars have closed in every city and town in the nation during the recession," Cressy said. "Policy makers should not compound the damage and threaten the recovery by raising hospitality taxes."

The tipping question now is if consumers will embrace the pricier brands once the economy returns back to normal.

In the great game of trying to gauge the direction of the economy (it's up! No, it's down!), retail sales are considered a key indicator. And sales numbers released this week indicate a recovery is, indeed, on the way. If only it were that simple.

Retailers across product categories reported higher than expected sales in January, beating Wall Street expectations and in some cases, the retailer's own projections. Wholesale clubs BJ's and Costco had particularly strong showings in January, with sales of stores open at least a year rising 8.4% and 8% respectively.

Assurance Wireless announced today that it is cutting its per-minute calling option in half in a program aimed at giving poor people cellphones.

Call it a coincidence, but the move comes less than a week after WalletPop pointed out that after the 200 free monthly minutes are used, customers can buy more airtime at 20 cents a minute -- double what the company's sister program, Boost Mobile, was offering at 10 cents a minute.

Its text messages, however, remain extraordinarily high at 15 cents, making messaging more costly than a domestic phone call. Most prepaid plans charge less for texting. Whatever. At least the calling rate drops.

Disneyland may indeed be the happiest place on Earth. At least, that would help explain why the park's extremely expensive and exclusive Club 33 has managed to accrue a 14-year long waiting list -- in the middle of a recession.

Located behind a nondescript green door marked "33" in Disneyland's New Orleans Square, the members-only five-star restaurant was built by Walt Disney in 1967 as a place where he could privately entertain guests and dignitaries that visited the theme park. However, Walt passed away before he could enjoy the highly-rated food and the unique features that he had installed in the club, including talking chandeliers and a mechanical vulture who can participate in the dinner chit-chat.

Joseph Gliottone has a quick comeback to his former advertising colleagues when they ask him about his new job picking up dog poop.

"It's the same product category, but a different clientele," said Gliottone, 53, who was a senior vice president of print production at an ad agency in Boston, and earned $158,000 a year before being laid off in December 2008.

He's now a professional pooper scooper and franchise owner of DoodyCalls, which charges about $16 a week to clean up after a dog. Since starting his business in Essex County, Mass., in September 2009, Gliottone hasn't made any money yet with the 12 clients he has, and needs about 50 to break even.

When asked about spending cuts because of the recession, pet owners in a recent Catalyst Direct study said that they would cut back on personal purchases before cutting back on spending for their dogs and cats: 79% would reduce spending on vacations; 77% on clothing; 49% on certain personal/family food items.

Which makes what's going on at community animal shelters that much harder to fathom. The spcaLA (the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Los Angeles), which cares for more than 4,000 unwanted and abused animals a year, has seen its food donations drop by 90%. Madeline Bernstein, the president of the group, said it is receiving 90% less food from big box stores, supermarkets, pet food suppliers, dry dog/cat food manufacturers.

Employees spent 19.2 hours a week -- nearly half a work week -- worrying about what their boss says or does, according to a new survey commissioned by workplace expert Lynn Taylor.

Taylor, author of book of boss-managing tips called Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant -- TOT, found that 13 of those hours came during the week and 6.2 came when workers should be taking a break from workplace worries: the weekend.

"You have to set limits as you would with a child," Taylor told WalletPop. "Especially in 2010, you can't just manage up, but parent up without patronizing."

Though clearly many employees are worried about keeping their jobs (in another survey, she found workers spend three hours a day worrying about job security), Taylor points out that even if 10% of U.S. employees are unemployed, that means 90% are employed. She advocates for an approach she has given the acronym of CALM:

"Communicate with your boss bravely, openly, honestly and frequently. Take the initiative," she said. "Anticipate -- try to be aware of problems before they escalate and have solutions ready. Laugh -- I believe that levity diffuses tension and creates a better atmosphere. Manage up by using negative and positive enforcement for certain behaviors, much as you would with a child."

Update: Assurance Wireless announced on Feb. 3 that it is lowering per minute charges for calls to 10 cents a minute.

Assurance Wireless is offering a cellphone and 200 minutes of calls for free to low-income people -- a noble goal but one that could prove costly if the users stick with the free phone service and buy more minutes after they've used up their 200 free minutes in a month.

The program, which started in December, offers the free prepaid service for people who have incomes 135% below the federal poverty rate -- $14,621 per year for a single person and $29,768 for a family of four, for example -- in New York, North Carolina, Tennessee and Virgina.

If household income isn't that far below the poverty level, people can also qualify by receiving government assistance such as Medicaid, food stamps, Supplemental Security Income, Section 8 housing, the National School Lunch Program's Free Lunch Program, and other government programs.

I am always somewhat amused when I read how so-called "experts" are "surprised" or "shocked" or "baffled" (lots of other expressions pop up when dealing with the economy in particular) when economic news turns out not to be what they had anticipated...even though it would seem pretty obvious to anyone with a keen observational eye that there is nothing really surprising by the latest set of statistics at all.

Take the just released government report on new home sales. They have hit a nine-month low. Apparently some analysts that had been "surveyed by Briefing.com had expected December sales of new home to hit an annual rate of 366,000." Instead, the figure was actually 342,000 last month, down 7.6 % from the previous month.

Need a job? Know how to count? The U.S. Census Bureau needs you.

Areas around the country are reporting that after begging for applicants at the last census in 2000, for this year's count they're seeing the most applicants they've ever seen.

Samantha O'Neil, a Census spokeswoman, told WalletPop that the bureau's Web site has been "swamped with interested people" as has its road tour events. Nationally the census is looking to fill 1.17 million jobs in fiscal 2010.

But things aren't going so well in Ottawa County, Ohio, however, according to a WTOL report:

Wednesday, I had told more than a few people who'd asked, would be the day, or thereabouts: the one when my biggest and most regular freelance check would arrive in my bank account. I needed to pay my mortgage payment (just past the grace period, again); my gas bill, my student loans, the cost of a dozen pounds of butter through a friend's buying club (I bake nearly all of my family's breakfasts and treats). I told my husband he could pay his great-uncle back for some money he'd borrowed; I told my son I'd buy him the full version of an iPod skater game (if he did his chores, of course). I had a list in my head: diapers, a big bag of flour, a new pair of shoes for the youngest.

Wednesday, a call was announced, to discuss this month's check. "No bad news," the email said. Perhaps we don't all have the same opinions about the nature of news; on the call, I learned an accounting change meant we wouldn't be getting this check for two more weeks (and the next month's, and the next: no catch-up, no take-backs). Past the 30-day late date for my mortgage; I'd now have to come up with two payments at once, a near-impossibility. Past the cancellation date for our health insurance. Past a lot of things.

Unemployment is leading to more men cheating on their wives -- the same women who are returning to work so these men will have a bed to sleep in at night.

Web sites that help people start affairs are seeing an increase in business during the recession as more men who can't find jobs are looking for other ways to fill their time and build up their self-esteem that has been falling since they were laid off.

"In the past six months, we've seen a 25% increase in members versus the previous six months, and it's certainly being driven by the recession," David Rees, founder and director of marriedandlooking.co.uk, which helps facilitate affairs, told theLondon Daily Mail.

LimeLife, a Web site aimed at women, reports that since people with low self-esteem are more likely to cheat on their partners, the recession is leading to more men cheating on their wives.

The notice on the Web site for the International Builders Show, being held in Las Vegas this week, pretty much says it all:

I've got issues. Email issues. You know how it is -- you obsessively check your inbox, hoping there's some life-changing opportunity not sent by a Nigerian, then get overwhelmed by the time-sucking correspondence of friends who seem to have WAY too much free time. And suddenly you're 200 emails behind. You meaning me.

So I recently channeled my obsessiveness into research and present it here for you, free of charge. That is, if you don't count the cost of your internet access.

THE BEST WAYS TO DEAL WITH EMAIL OVERLOAD: