Employees spend half a work week fretting about boss
Filed under: Career, Recession
Employees spent 19.2 hours a week -- nearly half a work week -- worrying about what their boss says or does, according to a new survey commissioned by workplace expert Lynn Taylor.Taylor, author of book of boss-managing tips called Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant -- TOT, found that 13 of those hours came during the week and 6.2 came when workers should be taking a break from workplace worries: the weekend.
"You have to set limits as you would with a child," Taylor told WalletPop. "Especially in 2010, you can't just manage up, but parent up without patronizing."
Though clearly many employees are worried about keeping their jobs (in another survey, she found workers spend three hours a day worrying about job security), Taylor points out that even if 10% of U.S. employees are unemployed, that means 90% are employed. She advocates for an approach she has given the acronym of CALM:
"Communicate with your boss bravely, openly, honestly and frequently. Take the initiative," she said. "Anticipate -- try to be aware of problems before they escalate and have solutions ready. Laugh -- I believe that levity diffuses tension and creates a better atmosphere. Manage up by using negative and positive enforcement for certain behaviors, much as you would with a child."
In yet another survey, Taylor asked workers to rank what they wished they could tell their bosses.
"The first thing they said they wished they could say was, 'Why don't we compromise?'" Taylor said. "That one is really valid. You can say it to both children and managers."
The others, ranked in descending order:
"I can't hear you when you shout."
"Stop whining."
"That's not allowed."
"I'm leaving." (Taylor notes you can't say unless you actually are prepared to)
"You're cranky, do you need a nap?"
"Go to your room, you're getting a time out."
"If you ask one more time, you'll never get that."
And, drum roll please: "Are you teething or do you just need a cookie?"
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
2-01-2010 @ 1:55PM
Pat said...
When you are an employee and have a boss you have to follow their rules and regulations exactly. You have to wear what they want you to wear and you have to deal with co-workers that you might or might not like, or even want to be around. A few years ago I decided that kind of life wasn't for me. A home business had a lot of appeal to me but I had no idea which one to choose. I know a lot of them are scams or MLM schemes to mostly enrich others. I found an amazing program on a blog at this web site ( Http://tr.im/BestBizBlog ) that gave me all the training I needed so that I could learn the skills required to be successful.. I couldn't be happier. I'm making a very nice income, I get to enjoy my family more often. And nobody is ever going to tell me what I have to do or what I have to wear again. :)
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2-01-2010 @ 4:09PM
Sam said...
I spent over 20 years in various corporate jobs, earning great money, but having no freedom and not enough time to do the things I wanted to do. I love traveling and hated being tied down to 4 weeks leave a year, and being told when I could and when I couldn’t take it. I tried other opportunities with varying success, but I still had to work long hours trying to generate any kind of substantial income. When I found this business opportunity: ( http://ta.gg/44n ) it almost seemed too good to be true – but I thought… what if I don’t try this, what if it is everything it seems to be and I pass it up. So I jumped straight in and I haven’t looked back! In a very short space of time I am now well on my way to having the lifestyle of my dreams, in fact I gave up my corporate job within three months of starting this business. I love what I do every day, this is such a simple business it is so easy be successful.
2-01-2010 @ 8:18PM
NotImportant said...
when your mgr is a punk -azz kid thats half your age , thats a joke . thank god im not in that position, but i know a woman that is . and the only reason the punk kid has the mgr job, is he has stayed at the same lame store for few yrs , so they finally gave him mgr - but the woman says he does not know what the helle he is doing . oh well . she is looking for work elsewhere. meanwhile, maybe the punk will grow up . ut from what she has told me, he sounds like an immature prick.
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2-01-2010 @ 9:41PM
P Curley said...
'Taylor points out that if 10% are unemployed that means 90% are working" This is completely wrong as the official unemployment figures are based on those collecting unemployment and activley seeking work. It is estiamted that there are an additional 7% who have either run out of benefits or have given up looking for now. This would put the true unemployment rate qt 17%, almost double the "official" rate.
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2-02-2010 @ 7:35PM
cortecoid said...
Don't we all feel at times like saying one of those "forbidden" phrases and be done with the boring job and the a-hole boss? No job is perfect, no boss is perfect. Thanks for the advice, though. CALM is a great simple formula.
2-03-2010 @ 3:52PM
Paul said...
I'm a contractor in a government office and the fed folks are treated one way (allowed to watch TV in their cubes, socialize, take classes online at work, read books, etc) and we don't. "That's just the way it is" is the answer I get when I mention it to our boss. Just an example of a PHB-type answer from her - dishonest and vague. So I'd like to ask my boss:
Can you give me an HONEST answer?
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2-02-2010 @ 1:43AM
Wayne said...
Bosses should always be the first one targeted when a worker decided to go into his work place on a killing spree. Kill them all.
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2-02-2010 @ 5:28PM
Jen said...
Not me! I could care less. LOL
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2-02-2010 @ 2:38PM
A.P. said...
I do worry about what my boss says or does, but 19.2 hrs a week - that's terrible! Would be fun, though, to say all those things - "I can't hear you when you shout" is my favorite. Taylor's website is very interesting, BTW - do follow that survey link. She wants to "humanize the workplace." Lots of good advice for work situations.
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2-02-2010 @ 2:50PM
Amanda L. said...
Great advice! I read it yesterday and today going to work I was turning that CALM acronym in my head - I thought I could do it and it made me feel better! I also was mulling over those phrases you only wish you could say, especially "I'm leaving" (but it's not time yet).
So, what do you know - before lunch I already had a run-in with the boss and I handled it quite well. I felt he was taken aback a bit, because it's not how people usually deal with him. I guess, when you feel in control, it communicates itself. Yay, Ms Taylor, humanize the workplace!
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2-02-2010 @ 3:30PM
Sam said...
I am wearing a No Whining Allowed button at work. If the bad boss even looks like he's going to whine I say "Nyeht" or "Nein" and he skulks away. There are so many phrases that I could add to Taylor's What I Wish I Said to My Boss list that it would last forever. How about "Zip it before your brains fall out." That's gotta be an all time favorite. Anyone else got any good ones?
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2-02-2010 @ 4:40PM
CSW said...
Laugh and learn people! I had a friend who kept a journal of every nasty thing the toxic boss said. She called it, The Bad, Bad Things journal. The boss heard about it but couldn't do anything about it. Whenever he did something particularly stupid, which was often, people would hum the song "Bad to the bone." He finally got it and lightened up somewhat. Taylor is right, humor conquers all.
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2-02-2010 @ 8:07PM
workingstiff said...
Funny approach - bosses as children. My boss alternates between "bully" and "whimp." He's so unpopular because of it, guys at the office run an "underground" cartoon strip about him. It so much easier to handle stuff when you can laugh at it.
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2-03-2010 @ 3:08PM
C said...
I need a cookie. I'm sure my boss is growing fangs. Funny stuff here.
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2-03-2010 @ 8:01PM
Rachel A. said...
The survey results look terrible, but the approach Lynn Taylor advocates isn't. It's "humanize the workplace" and act like a "parent, without patronizing." I really like this solutions she offers. Laughter certainly helps, lightens the tension. Thumbs up!
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2-04-2010 @ 5:02AM
PK said...
I've found when I've been on track with my career, I worry less about the boss. Wheras those times when I'm off track I worry about them all the time. Now that I work freelance and am my own boss and I make sure I treat the boss ok. Regular cups of tea and all that :)
Paul, 1DayLater - http://1daylater.com
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2-06-2010 @ 9:54PM
Sam said...
The picture on the book looks just like my sweetie's boss so I am giving him Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant for Valentine's Day. It will cheer him up because I looked through it on Amazon and there was some fun comments. Check it out.
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2-11-2010 @ 12:46PM
Henry Stewart said...
Scary statistics. What a waste of people's time and motivation. But we've got a simple solution to this one: Let people choose thier managers. At Happy (www.happy.co.uk) if they don't get on with their current manager, we simply say "Fine. Who would you like instead".
If managers are there to motivate, support and get the most out of people, its simple commons ense to ahve those people choose their managers.
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2-20-2010 @ 1:02PM
CIndi said...
My former boss must have been the model this book was written about. SO many of the phrases would have been perfect for him (I can't hear you when you shout, are you teething or do you need a nap)
Based on the history of the branch office and how the manager treats his people, I opted for the simple, "I'm leaving" and I am not looking back!
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