Regifting: The gift you keep giving
Filed under: Family Money, Saving Money
Leslie Lait immediately recognized the adorable, pale-blue, corduroy overalls she unwrapped at her baby shower. The infant-sized outfit with the tags still on was the same pair she had given to the very same friend, who was now regifting it back to her. Boomerang gifts are not new, and they're about to get a lot more common as consumers seek to uphold gift-giving traditions on a shoestring budget. Thrifty is good, thoughtless is bad and public humiliation is even worse.
According to a recent survey by the National Retail Federation, Americans plan on spending an average of $682.74 on holiday-related shopping this year. That figure represents a 3.2% drop from spending in 2008 -- and it's not because we have fewer friends.
The sitcom Seinfeld in 1995 was the first to go public with the dubious practice of regifting, and the comedian is credited with providing us the name for our guilty secret. The truth is, however, recycling a gift is not always a bad thing. In fact, Dec. 17 is officially, "Regifting Day" in the U.S. (created by a debt-counseling group called Money Management International as a way of espousing recycling and avoiding debt). Even etiquette experts admit there is a right way, and a wrong way to go about regifting.
Do: Regift quality, duplicate items you already own, or have read, watched or played -- you will be able to pass it along with pride and a personal endorsement. Double-check for personal inscriptions on the inside of book covers and definitely remove old cards, wrapping and tape -- a dead giveaway. It's cool we all do it, but we're still not completely out of the regifting closet.
Don't: Regift something you don't like and hope the other person feels differently. Tacky is as tacky does. Save it for the white elephant gift exchange -- just make sure whoever gave it to you won't be attending the same party (which actually happened to one poor PTA member last year.)
Always: Make a list or stick Post-Its on gifts you have every intention of passing along. It will remind you of who gave it to you, and when. This is a tip from one of my most gracious and organized friends, and I'd probably be thrilled with one of her regifts
Never: Give something in the old, crinkly wrapping that you your-very-own-self received it in. Ditto for slightly used items, perishables, dusty or dirty packaging, or partially redeemed gift cards. Yeah, it's great to receive a Target gift card, but $13.68 screams regift!
One friend watched as her toddler opened a large, loud, noisy truck at his birthday party that was clearly missing all tags, labels and packaging. "That's just like the one I have!" his little friend exclaimed, while an inscrutable expression (Guilt? Horror?) flickered across the mother's face.
By getting creative, you might be able to avoid regifting altogether. Those items that fall into the "never" or "maybe" pile of regifting rejects might find a buyer on eBay. The income could allow for the purchase of a new, more personal present while stimulating the economy at the same time. Win! Win!
Yard sales are another way of fund raising for holiday gifts and clearing out the clutter. I will never forget the framed, hologram picture of E.T. I received as a gift in high school. It was the only thing I actually sold at our garage sale that year. Good times.
In addition, donating questionable regift items to a charitable organization such as Goodwill or Salvation Army provides meaningful support to those in need and will reward you with a write-off come tax time.
Author and business coach, Melanie Jordan is looking to put an end to regifting this holiday season. Period. Her new book, What You Know Is Worth More Than You Know is designed to help readers empower their lives by profiting from the talents and skills they already possess. "I defy anyone to say they don't have anything to contribute," said Jordan in an interview with WalletPop, "If you live and have existed on this planet, you know something." Jordan is passionate in coaching others into the "infopreneurial" lifestyle and believes in the power of cultivating individual strengths.
In the spirit of the book's live it, learn it, pass it on philosophy, sharing time and talent could be the ideal gift this year. Whether it's giving a friend a facial, helping set-up a website, teaching a relative how to download podcasts, or offering to babysit, providing a service or teaching something for free is one of the best gifts of all. There's nothing more valuable than time. Like any gift, however, make sure Aunt Nellie likes ice fishing, and your best friend actually wants his closet reorganized.
If all this seems overwhelming, there remains the obvious choice, ask for a list.
In the end, what makes one gift perfect is the same thing that makes another perfectly awful: it's always the thought that counts.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
11-13-2009 @ 8:59AM
watshurself said...
Ok.. my boyfriend thought it would be a cute idea to buy me this cookbook called "Get in the Kitchen, BIT@HES" for my birthday...seriously- bitchcooks.com. At first, I have to say I loved it. The book was so hilarious and made for a great converstion piece. However, now, whenever he comes over, he keeps saying... "What's for dinner BIT@H?" or "Get in the kitchen, BIT@H, and make me some food"... Yeah.. I'm pretty much over that, so tonight I am gonna make him the dish called 'Bend Me Over Beef' with a side of the 'Eat Me! Eggplant', serve it to him in a dog dish on the floor, and tell him.. "There's your damn dinner. BIT@H!" And yeah.. i'll be re-gifting this one!
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11-13-2009 @ 11:02AM
Pat said...
I have no problem with re-gifting. If you got something you think someone else would love, why not give it to them? The thought is in the giving of the gift and the caring associated with it. I've bought things in antique stores and even thrift shops. So it's not new. Who cares? I've been re-gifted, and I still believe it's the thought that counts. Buying a used item is no different than giving something new that you've received. IMHO. :-)
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1-03-2010 @ 4:40PM
Heidi Richards Mooney said...
Love this article! In fact, I was wondering what your republishing policy is?
My name is Heidi Richards Mooney and I am the publisher of WE Magazine for Women (www.wemagazineforwomen.com). We are in the process of putting together our holiday gift-giving guide and it includes a variety of articles on topics around the coming holidays, I would love to include this article with your permission, of course.
If you do allow republishing please let me know what your guidelines are.
Many thanks in advance,
Heidi
heidi (at) wecai.org
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11-14-2009 @ 8:15AM
Redhed said...
Re-gift the way someone I knew did and you won't have any problems. At Christmas, she came over to my house with a beautiful plate from Pottery Brn and explained it had been given to her, but wasn't her style, but she thought of me when seeing it and thought I might like it. I was so excited because I had admired that plate for almost a year, but hadn't wanted to pay the high price. Be honest! Or use unwanted gifts as hostess gifts. But, DON'T re-gift close friends while trying to pull a fast one. I have a long time friend who makes tons of money and I am well aware that almost everything she gives me is re-gifted. She is good to me in other ways, so every year, I just push aside hurt feelings and still start months ahead trying to find her the perfect gift. There are many alternatives for using gifts that don't suit you--but don't try to pass it off as a personal, thoughtful present.
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11-13-2009 @ 12:25PM
Cindy said...
My experience with regifting was limited until recently. My future sister in law is arguably the worst gift giver ever. When her first child was born, I was extremely generous. That is, until it was my future mother in laws birthday and good ol' sister in law gave her a baby blanket and two outfits that my fiance and I had given her.
Then, last year she drew my name from a hat as the person to buy a gift for ($60 is the average and you are only buying for one person). She was talking it up for a month, how much I was going to love it, blah, blah, blah. I was horrified when I opened up the package to find a dirty, used picture frame and a set of super market champagne flutes (I don't drink). If she were strapped for cash, I'd get it, but she's a doctor and didn't have any problem prancing in in her $400 sweater that morning.
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11-13-2009 @ 12:27PM
Adele said...
I had a friend who re-gifted the perfect way. She was given a beautiful plate from Pttery Brn, but it wasn't her style. She knew it suited me perfectly and asked if I would want it. I was so excited because I had admired the plate for almost a year, but didn't want to pay the high price. Be honest! Don't do like another long time friend does and re-gift to close friends. She makes tons of money and shops quite often, but I know she does it to me every year. Since she is good to me in other ways, I just push aside hurt feelings and I still start months ahead trying to find her the perfect gift. Use unwanted items as hostess gifts, just ask someone you know if they would want it, use as a donation to silent auctions etc.
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11-13-2009 @ 1:02PM
Theresa Moore said...
I received a beutifully wrap birthday gift with a Prada purse/ backpack in it. Wow, was I surprised my sister-in-law really out did herself this time. Soon, I discovered it was her used purse complete with used items inside like a half used package of gas x! Pretty sure it was a knock off purse as well. I wonder what her mind set was Goodwill or wrap it up. Not cool.
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11-13-2009 @ 1:39PM
Michelle said...
I have regifted but with positive results. However it didn't always work that way for me. Here's my story. My ex's daughter regifted me with stolen items. I gave her cousin a locket which the daughter gave back to me. She also gave me this expensive but ugly gaudy necklace that I later found out belonged to her grandmother. I also noticed a few of my things turned up missing but I never saw anyone wearing them.
Worst gift I ever got was used underwear from the stepfather's ex-wife. Complete with stains. My sister and I could not keep a straight face. I think that totally tops the worst gift list!!
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11-13-2009 @ 2:05PM
Sally said...
For our silver anniversary, we got a beautiful crystal and silver salad set. I was surprised because I didn't think the giver could afford it. However, I noticed the box was 'aged' and wondered about regifting. One day as I was putting it away, I found the original wedding card. I just laughed and didn't tell anyone until now.
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11-13-2009 @ 4:30PM
Connie said...
I love being on the receiving end of regifting especially when it is something I have admired. I was totally knocked off my feet when someone gave me some perfume. I asked what the name of the perfume someone was wearing as I liked the smell. The next day she walks in with a bottle and tells me it is not her favorite and gave it to me. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that would ever happen.
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