'Baby Einstein' didn't make my kid a genius ... duh
Filed under: Kids and Money, Consumer Complaints
A recently closed pizza place just a lonnnng dough toss from my home on Chicago's North Side bragged that it served "the best pizza on Earth." And a Mexican joint not far from there advertises "burritos as big as your head." In both cases, I chalk it up to hyperbole: I'm sure the owners of Katacomb never won a smackdown against any Roman pizzeria. Nor will a lawsuit force La Bamba to correct its slogan to read, "Burritos as big as a rhesus monkey's head."
So sloganeering represents nothing new, though the fine line between bragging and outright lies can prove a tricky, treacherous balance -- especially where our kids are concerned. Now it comes as no shock to me that Baby Einstein has admitted that it won't make my kid into Albert Einstein, Albert Schweitzer or even Al Franken. Truth be told, never did I expect to stick my kid in front of the vids, leave him in the cathode-ray oven for a few hours, then have him emerge as one smart cookie.
But here's what I do find disturbing, and why I suggest you put in for the $16-per-video refund (limit four) if you bought between June 5, 2005 and Sept. 4, 2009. The name "Baby Einstein" (concocted by creator-mom Julie Aigner-Clark at her home in Alpharetta, Ga. in 1997) implies an undeniable connection between the product and some sort of brain development Junior would enjoy from watching it.
And according to a New York Times piece, the videos could have the exact opposite effect on kids under two. The Times quotes a letter from lawyers for the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood: "The Walt Disney Company's entire Baby Einstein marketing regime is based on express and implied claims that their videos are educational and beneficial for early childhood development. [Those claims are] false because research shows that television viewing is potentially harmful for very young children."
Ugh. I have to lie enough to my kids, what with the Easter Bunny, Santa and all that. Now Mickey Mouse is lying to them, too. (Disney bought Baby Einstein in 2001, and created a spinoff for older kids, "Little Einsteins.")
My 7-year-old son, who is in the other room building an Android Six Hyperblaster Planet Killer 6000 out of Legos, does not appear to have suffered any brain damage from watching Baby Einstein as a toddler. What's more, I speak as a selfish, exhausted parent when I say the DVDs served their purpose. I'd put Christopher in front of them, and he'd get really, really still and quiet, allowing me to shower for the first time in three days. Watching toy cars race endlessly in a circle to silly toy xylophone sounds will do that to you. Or me.
So maybe Ms. Clark and the Disney Death Star can save face by changing the product name. I have a few suggestions:
- "BABYSITTER EINSTEIN: THE GENIUS INVENTION FOR MESMERIZING YOUR KID SO YOU CAN HAVE A MOMENT'S SANITY ... or at least a quick shower."
- Or how about this? "MAYBE EINSTEIN: HONESTLY, WE HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOUR KID WILL TURN OUT."
- I'm also digging a new product line, "EINSTEIN, BABY: HIPSTER JAZZ SOUNDTRACKS ACCOMPANY BEATNIK POETRY READINGS OF EINSTEIN'S PHYSICS PAPERS, ENACTED BY HAND PUPPETS IN SHADES."
Still, maybe there's enough backbone at Disney to entertain a new label. And a new slogan, too.
I hear "the best pizza on Earth" is now up for grabs.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
10-27-2009 @ 5:41PM
Stephanie said...
What are you talking about. It's is known that TV will not make your child 0-2 smarter. I purchased the Your Baby Can Read, program and show it to my 1 year old. Who cares if he learns anything, it keeps him entertained, along with the Baby Einstein videos. What is your point here? Did you think your child watching a video will make your baby smarter? If it does great!!! but to expect that as an outcome??? Do you learn anything good from the majority of TV shows and Movies out there. Once again please explain to me why you are upset.
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10-27-2009 @ 5:34PM
Bill said...
If you bought the videos because you thought they would turn your kids into Einstein, Mozart, Bach, Van Gogh, Neptune, or whomever I'm afraid the real problem is because you spent too much time in front of the boob tube growing up and never learned to think. They're cute videos, with cute, happy, diverse, children playing, engaged with parents, getting exposed to classical music and creative poetry in calm and entertaining presentations.
If you're seeking a refund it is probably a greedy and dishonest move and you should ask yourself if it really is a fair thing to do. Probably, your children have been pleasantly entertained or even delighted with these videos and have probably received at least a seed of joy for appreciating classical music that may indeed blossom into appreciation for the full orchestral versions. My under age 10 children routinely choose classical music from our CD shelf when they ask if they may play some music. I think the things we exposed them to as very young children, including Baby Einstein videos, contributed to their well developed tastes in music.
On the other hand I'm afraid I had to reject the much beloved Sesame Street for my children because many of the characters use poor English that I did not want my children to emulate. In contrast, the prose in the Baby Einstein videos is excellent and clearly spoken. Children, especially in families where English is not the primary language, would do very well listening to the gentle and correctly spoken English in these videos. Being able to speak clearly is a skill that will help them everywhere in life from pre-school onward. Much of popular children's programming on TV and in videos teaches poor speech patterns, limited and lazy vocabulary, disrespect for parents and other adults, and absolutely foolish behavior.
I must admit I was sad to hear that the original creators of Baby Einstein sold out to Disney. So often when a founder sells out the product line degrades. I have not seen the Little Einsteins products so I cannot endorse them as I do the original Baby Einstein series. I'm no longer impressed with any Disney content as sadly they don't seem to really care about the character development of the children they employ. I hope Ms. Clark's children haven't been sucked into that vortex.
Mr. Carlozo, may I suggest the Rug Rats would make a better franchise to attack? Any time I'm exposed to even 20 seconds of their promotions I worry for the human race.
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