The New York Times has uploaded a fascinating new video to its website. It runs for five minutes and forty-five seconds and is devoted entirely to a painstaking explanation of how to cook a chicken pot pie without getting salmonella. Watch it here.

Tragically, they can't get the entire pie to cook to 145 Degrees Fahrenheit and one concludes that "I don't know what to do at this point." The video is richly produced with creepy music at unpredictable intervals, and concludes with a call to the 800 number on the box, where our hosts are told that they shouldn't eat a pot pie that hasn't been fully cooked. Duh.

This is a strange item for a number of reasons, the first of which is that it's inexplicably posted on the business page of the website. Secondly: Doesn't eating frozen chicken pot pies seem a little down-market for the Times' target demographic? And isn't the average New York Times reader smart enough to know not to eat frozen food without cooking it first? And while the New York Times is slashing staff and fighting for its survival -- with the future of investigative journalism and democracy hanging in the balance -- couldn't they save the cash for more relevant tasks? And even if a chicken pot pie tutorial is an important thing, the International Food Safety Network has already uploaded a similar video to YouTube.

See also: How to Wax a Floor without Slipping, Severing your Spine.