Cross your legs! 'Pay to pee' on airlines is definitely coming
Filed under: Ripoffs and Scams, Transportation, Travel, Recession
Put a cork in it: Ryanair's discourteous CEO, Michael O'Leary, stood up during a press conference in Dublin Thursday and confirmed that yes, indeed, he's going to start charging passengers when they need to go to the bathroom.
The so-called "wee fee" is no longer under consideration; it's in development. O'Leary has asked Boeing to design toilets that won't work unless you swipe a credit card first. So not only will you have to pay to pee, you'll have to do it on credit.
"Eventually it's going to happen. It's just we can't do it at the moment because we don't have a mechanism for charging you," said the Irish sadist.
Last week, O'Leary set off an uproar by suggesting his airline would install "a coin slot on the toilet door," but company foot soldiers quickly followed him with a broom, cleaning up after him the way they do with the elephants at the circus. Pay lavatories are not coming in the near future, assured damage-controlling Ryanair PR flacks in a soothing voice.
Scratch that. They definitely are, only not paid by the tinkle of coins, because that would be too tricky to design. Here's how O'Leary calculates it: "Frankly, if we think 20% of our passengers in a year would use the facility, if they paid a pound per passenger, it would raise about 15 million quid and would help us to pass on £15m worth of fare savings to the traveling public."
Up until now, Ryanair has been Europe's most profitable airline, something it accomplished by pricing flights insanely low and then piling on the added fees, from massive luggage charges to a hit even for carrying on your airport purchases. But if this new fee comes on board, will passengers revolt? There are some heartless cash-heads at the Harvard Business School who admire the airline's aplomb, but I wouldn't say those guys are in sync withe the current zeitgeist.
A lot of Ryanair's flights are relatively short jaunts like Dublin to Edinburgh or Gatwick to Barcelona. In a place the size of America, though, many flights are so long that "holding it" for will take on new heights of discomfort that most Europeans won't have to endure. And it's not like you can sneak into a nearby pub to relieve yourself, as our sister site WalletPop U.K. points out as part of its own Ryanair coverage.
Federal law requires toilets in the workplace--it's a bodily necessity, like air and water. Some cities, too, have laws on the books mandating free public toilets for stores of a certain capacity, so it's uncertain how pay-to-pee flights would work out here on both the social and legal levels.
Who knows? Perhaps the introduction of a charge like this could finally get American lawmakers off their butts, so to speak, so they craft some national guidelines about where free, public facilities must be provided.
The so-called "wee fee" is no longer under consideration; it's in development. O'Leary has asked Boeing to design toilets that won't work unless you swipe a credit card first. So not only will you have to pay to pee, you'll have to do it on credit.
"Eventually it's going to happen. It's just we can't do it at the moment because we don't have a mechanism for charging you," said the Irish sadist.
Last week, O'Leary set off an uproar by suggesting his airline would install "a coin slot on the toilet door," but company foot soldiers quickly followed him with a broom, cleaning up after him the way they do with the elephants at the circus. Pay lavatories are not coming in the near future, assured damage-controlling Ryanair PR flacks in a soothing voice.
Scratch that. They definitely are, only not paid by the tinkle of coins, because that would be too tricky to design. Here's how O'Leary calculates it: "Frankly, if we think 20% of our passengers in a year would use the facility, if they paid a pound per passenger, it would raise about 15 million quid and would help us to pass on £15m worth of fare savings to the traveling public."
Up until now, Ryanair has been Europe's most profitable airline, something it accomplished by pricing flights insanely low and then piling on the added fees, from massive luggage charges to a hit even for carrying on your airport purchases. But if this new fee comes on board, will passengers revolt? There are some heartless cash-heads at the Harvard Business School who admire the airline's aplomb, but I wouldn't say those guys are in sync withe the current zeitgeist.
A lot of Ryanair's flights are relatively short jaunts like Dublin to Edinburgh or Gatwick to Barcelona. In a place the size of America, though, many flights are so long that "holding it" for will take on new heights of discomfort that most Europeans won't have to endure. And it's not like you can sneak into a nearby pub to relieve yourself, as our sister site WalletPop U.K. points out as part of its own Ryanair coverage.
Federal law requires toilets in the workplace--it's a bodily necessity, like air and water. Some cities, too, have laws on the books mandating free public toilets for stores of a certain capacity, so it's uncertain how pay-to-pee flights would work out here on both the social and legal levels.
Who knows? Perhaps the introduction of a charge like this could finally get American lawmakers off their butts, so to speak, so they craft some national guidelines about where free, public facilities must be provided.
If you're interested in transportation, you may like
these related sites for: Maps, Driving Directions, Travel, and Cars.
Subscribe to Walletpopthese related sites for: Maps, Driving Directions, Travel, and Cars.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 18)
3-07-2009 @ 2:06PM
Kim said...
You know what we passengers are going to have to do, don't you? I don't like it any better than you, but we have to draw the line somewhere. Starts with human and rhymes with "bein'". If that doesn't work we'll start in with the jokes about how "p-d off" we are... Come one, we can win this one.
Reply
3-09-2009 @ 9:36AM
jimmy said...
come on we can win this one !
yes you can , dont fly their airline and send them a note with a copy of your ticket on another airline.
but you will not fly someone else if they are a dollar more for the ticket ! Great service is worth a few extra dollars to be treated like a human
3-09-2009 @ 11:48AM
BLOODYHELL said...
TO HELL WITH HIM, JUST P** AND SH** ON THE FLOOR. I WONDER HOW MUCH IT WILL COST TO CLEAN IT UP? LET'S FIND OUT!
3-07-2009 @ 2:14PM
Cherokee said...
This is just so wrong ! Greedy bat rastards.
Reply
3-07-2009 @ 2:31PM
stu gots said...
JUST PEE ON THE FLOOR....THESE PEOPLE ARE NUTS
3-07-2009 @ 2:49PM
sheila said...
You are right!! They can not get their $, and their lifestyle has changed, so they are trying to get money in other places. It is a disgrace, and i saw people in CA. that are living in tents in the woods because they have lost their jobs, and can't find work.
3-07-2009 @ 2:23PM
B.O stinks said...
I swear I would wear depends just so I wouldn't give him a dime.
Reply
3-07-2009 @ 2:41PM
george said...
Depends my foot I would piss in the floor!!!!!!
3-07-2009 @ 2:26PM
john said...
What's to stop people from going on the floor?
Reply
3-07-2009 @ 3:07PM
Mir said...
my sentiments exactly. why not? see what flyboy has to say about that, maybe he would enjoy the lovely scents of urine and defecation
3-09-2009 @ 11:23PM
Katzenmutter said...
Problem with your good idea is that there are other humans on the plane you're on.
3-07-2009 @ 2:31PM
BEEKER D. said...
IF ever you get sick don't go into the bathroom JUST throwup in the Galley or on the floor out soide the cockpit!@
Hey O'Leary don't be so O'STUPID!
Reply
3-07-2009 @ 2:24PM
jb said...
Well here is the message you seem to be sending is that we are not worthy of being treated like human beings. Let's see...You've already crammed people into seats suited for headless, legless children, you don't protect us from overweight and oversized people folding over onto our space, you don't like our luggage or our little necessities we want to carry on with us, you don't care if we're comfortable in the least, you hire snotty flight attendants and support their upity attitudes, then you take away any puny snacks or drinks that might break up the monoteny of our torturous trips, and on top of this, you'd like to charge us for normal bodily functions. Do you think people can take any more obvious abuse and still remain "calm and pleasant" during a flight? What the hell are you thinking? Are you even human? Do you hate people this much? Why are you in a business that requires good customer service, when you just can't be bothered with this? You should be working at the dump... yes, working with trash...that would be perfectly suited to you.
Reply
3-07-2009 @ 2:52PM
flyboyzii said...
So take a bus if you feel that you are so mistreated. BTW, if you don't like the size of the a/c you are not required by law to take it..you can always walk away. The way the traveling public treats our equipment etc..they should charge most of you a$5.00 cleaning fee for leaving all of your trash in the seat pockets and all of the food that you precious little offspring left all over the floor and seat. TAKE A DAMN BUS, PLEASE !!!
3-07-2009 @ 3:20PM
Badbns said...
flyboy is a prime example of the attitude you speak of...they seem to forget their paychecks come from the folks they so like to insult.
3-07-2009 @ 3:25PM
Randy Goat said...
Flyboyxii.............said "Take a damn bus please"
Let's all do that and put the little pin head out of a job!!
3-09-2009 @ 10:38AM
Jamie said...
And flyboy, are you and your crew going to have a problem with this policy if the crew is also required to pay?
3-07-2009 @ 2:23PM
jb said...
Well here is the message you seem to be sending is that we are not worthy of being treated like human beings. Let's see...You've already crammed people into seats suited for headless, legless children, you don't protect us from overweight and oversized people folding over onto our space, you don't like our luggage or our little necessities we want to carry on with us, you don't care if we're comfortable in the least, you hire snotty flight attendants and support their upity attitudes, then you take away any puny snacks or drinks that might break up the monoteny of our torturous trips, and on top of this, you'd like to charge us for normal bodily functions. Do you think people can take any more obvious abuse and still remain "calm and pleasant" during a flight? What the hell are you thinking? Are you even human? Do you hate people this much? Why are you in a business that requires good customer service, when you just can't be bothered with this? You should be working at the dump... yes, working with trash...that would be perfectly suited to you.
Reply
3-07-2009 @ 5:05PM
Bob said...
Who said the flight industry requires good customer service? Unfortunately they don't. They know they pretty much have a monopoly on quickest most convenient travel between points A and B. Who said they had to make it comfortable? The airline industry has become a dog-eat-dog fight for survival between a few large airlines. So I am sure we will see even more drastic and extreme ideas for upping their bottom line in the future. Doesn't mean the public will accept them. At some point, it will backfire. I am hoping the fee-to-pee issue is the one that backfires on them and that people will take airlines where it is still free instead. That oughta impact airlines bottom lines enough to sit up and take notice. They need a kick in the backside to remind them whose boss....the customer...because without us they have no business. It wouldn't take much. They are so fragile financially that I suspect even a temporary boycott of airline travel of two or three days against the offending airline might wake them up. As for me, I will boycott any airline that institutes the fee-to-pee idea.
3-09-2009 @ 7:06AM
Neverfly said...
You just aren't seeing the humor. It isn't El Al, or EdinboughAir. After centuries of abuse of the Jews and Scots for being canny, commercially deceptive, and penny pinching, its these fine Irish baiting and switching lads admitting they'd charge for air if there only were a way to do it efficiently. What next, charging extra for cleaning their own planes? At least until that first legionella wrongful death suit..............