Woman kills herself before foreclosure: money secrets in marriage not healthy
Filed under: Borrowing, Debt, Real Estate, Relationships, Bankruptcy
A tragic case in Taunton, Mass., where a 53-year-old wife and mother fatally shot herself after faxing a letter to her mortgage company, demonstrates a common issue in many marriages; secrets about money. According to police, Carlene Balderrama fax read, in part, "By the time you foreclose on my house, I'll be dead."
"I had no clue," said spouse John Balderrama. He further explained that his wife had handled all the couple's finances and he no idea that she hadn't paid the mortgage in 42 months. But, in fact, there were clues. According to court records, Mr. Balderrama had filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy three times from 2004 to 2006. Obviously there were long-standing financial issues that this couple were not facing together.
This is not unusual. Spouses more often lie to each other about money than any other issue. From hiding purchases and bills to opening single accounts, spouses often minimize their own spending. And in many households, only one spouse is actively involved in handling the family finances.
For a healthy financial partnership, couples should sit down and review finances at least quarterly. This review should include a look at all outstanding bills, projected income, and any other significant financial data like taxes or insurance due. A running summery of net worth is essential so couples know if they are losing ground.
Many couples find it helpful to identify a financial savings goal at the start of each year. Then the quarterly review can include an assessment on how this piece is progressing.
Through regular cash communication, there will not be tragic surprises like this one in Mass.



Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
8-04-2008 @ 1:00AM
Eddie said...
How in the world can a man not know his house pmt has not been made for almost 4 yrs???That doesnt even begin to sound logical. This man needs to see a shrink because obviously something is wrong with him!!!!
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8-11-2008 @ 10:11PM
Dawn said...
Oh my gosh! It's JUST a house, it's not worth taking your life over! She should have just let it go and started over!
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8-13-2008 @ 7:27AM
stacey said...
OMG, I feel for her, once you get in you see no way of getting out.
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9-13-2008 @ 1:35PM
Robert said...
A lot of people have financial issues and they some times put them ahead of everything esle including their own lives. My wife and I are fighting to keep up with our bills but we are able to at least keep up with them, just not able to pay them off earlier like I would love to do (cars, personal loans..ect)
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9-17-2008 @ 10:44PM
Matt said...
I work at a center that helps homeowners get out of foreclosure. The information is shortsalecenter.com I hear of this and have to deal with this a lot more than people would think. Also, you don't just let a house go to foreclosure and start over. A foreclosure hits your credit like a ton of bricks (300+points) Once a home goes to foreclosure you would be lucky to get a lease on an apartment, let alone another house. I feel for this woman. Anyone who needs help getting out of foreclosure should consult the company I work for:
shortsalecenter.com
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