Helicopter parents handicapping their children for life
Filed under: Kids and Money
Yesterday on talk radio, a host was discussing the concept of "helicopter parents"... Those parents who are so involved in their young adult children's lives that they literally hover over them. Apparently this is nothing new, although I hadn't heard of it before and was intrigued.I'd heard stories about parents calling college professors to complain about grades (They better be glad they didn't do that to me when I was teaching undergraduate courses!). Some Contact companies on behalf of the child who just interviewed with them. One writer blamed the cell phone for this phenomenon, calling it the "world's longest umbilical cord."
This comes as no surprise to me, as I see younger generations refusing to grow up and accept responsibility. Refusing to all those "adult" things that are expected of them, like showing up to work on time, dressing like an adult, and being responsible about their finances. How many baby boomer parents do you know who have had to financially bail out one or more of their adult children?A caller to this radio show lamented about the tenants in the 300 rental units he manages near a large college campus. He says parents are calling him to report a leaky faucet in Johnny's apartment. The students are calling when they need a lightbulb changed. Rent payments are late because "my dad didn't put the money into my checking account yet."
Amazingly enough, this younger generation also has some of the most creative, ambitious, and entrepreneurial types we could have ever imagined. Can't we find a happy medium, in which the younger generation as a whole steps up to the plate and accepts responsibility as the young adults they are supposed to be? And if mom and dad don't let go soon, their child will never learn how to grow up and handle their problems on their own. Do your kids a favor and quit hovering. They'll thank you in the long run.
Tracy L. Coenen, CPA, MBA, CFE performs fraud examinations and financial investigations for her company Sequence Inc. Forensic Accounting, and is the author of Essentials of Corporate Fraud.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
6-19-2008 @ 10:13AM
SwissBeauty said...
Part of the problem with Helicopter Parenting is that children have not been parented much at all. (is it guilt parenting on the parents part?) I don't like when people say that young people aren't growing up or "acting their age" when in reality many were born- and left to figure out how to live life functioning in a "non-parent; everyone is working" home. And if you think that growing up to be like their parents is an incentive for them, forget it.
We aren't baby boomers anymore. We want relationships as much as we want pay checks. And we'll give up the latter so that we can just be on a relational level with others- and that usually gets interpreted as not "growing up". When in reality- that used to be what families were about; hanging together. But apparently our parents don't have time for that- other than the courtesy get their hands in the lives of their children. (i.e. helicoptering)
I'm not complaining- it just is what it is. But give all generations a break. If you didn't buy you home after the 1970's you most likely won't have it paid off until you retire - which is alot of lost time that would have normally gone toward family.
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6-19-2008 @ 10:22AM
SwissBeauty said...
I meant to say if you DIDNT buy your home before the 1970's, you are most likely stuck with a parent not being home as it often means you can't afford to buy without both parents working. And with a parent having the built-in desire to parent- they just extend it beyond the normal 18-20 years, because they haven't had as much time concentrating on it, in the earlier.
I on the other hand have wasted my money in life on rent. But I have three teenagers, so what wasn't wasted was time with them. And I'm sure if many could do it all over again- many would.
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