Bringing funerals to the do-it-yourself industry
Filed under: Extracurriculars
I guess it was almost as inevitable as the inevitable.Someone has found a way to marry the do-it-yourself industry with funerals. And why not? After all, software companies have given us ways to do taxes ourselves. Why shouldn't we use our PC to manage the only other thing that is certain?
At first glance, when I saw the headline for this Orlando Sentinel story, I thought, "Oh, brother," but it actually makes a lot of sense, and once you know something about this business, you can't argue for the reasons behind creating it. Nancy Bush, who lives in Minneapolis, lost her husband to cancer when he was only 53. For a year, they each knew he was going to die sooner rather than later, but he never wanted to discuss his funeral, because it just felt like to do that was some of sign that he was giving up. When his time finally came, Nancy found herself wondering just what her husband would have liked to have had at his funeral.And so Nancy Bush and her friend Sue Kruskopf, who owns an ad agency, founded a web site, My Wonderful Life.com, for people to plan their own funeral. I'm not quite sure it would have helped Mrs. Bush's husband, John. If you don't want to discuss your funeral, you probably don't want to plan it out on a web site, even if the details are private to the rest of cyberspace.
Still, I can see where it would be appealing to a lot of people, especially of the Type-A variety.
If you go to the free web site, you can decide what music or readings you'd like to have at your funeral, but you can also find out how to have a burial at sea, or be entombed or a dozen other things you've possibly never given thought to. Like -- should you get funeral insurance? Or should you pre-buy your grave, long before you march on, just to get a cheaper price?
And I love this tidbit I picked up at the site. If you're bargain hunting, you can also buy a pre-owned grave. That sounds a little tasteless, or ominous at first, but that just means someone else decided to give up the plot for whatever reason, and since they're probably not trying to get a profit -- they just want their money back -- you can probably get it for a cheaper price.
While I'm not sure this site is exactly going to put the fun back in funeral, it probably will make life, or death, a little easier for all concerned in the days up to and after the person's time has expired. And I don't know about anyone else, but if I knew my time was short, I'd probably use a site like this. If I was going to soon rest in peace, I'd want a little peace of mind.
Geoff Williams is a business journalist and the author of C.C. Pyle's Amazing Foot Race: The True Story of the 1928 Coast-to-Coast Run Across America (Rodale).
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
6-10-2008 @ 3:09PM
Timmy said...
Britney Spears NAKED again:
http://celebritiesvidz.com/videos.php?v=Britney_Spears
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6-10-2008 @ 4:05PM
Jupiter said...
I think this is a very good thing. Funeral homes have long raked in massive profits off the grieving families who've felt pressured enough by societal expectations to go into debt for someone who's already dead (and won't be there so see the results), and to what end? To show off?
When I'm dead, I won't know what happens to me. If it turns out that I do know, I'd be terribly upset if I found someone spent heaps of money they could actually use on some expensive casket that's just going to rot with me in the ground (actually, I'd prefer cremation and having my ashes spread in my favourite spot).
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6-10-2008 @ 4:17PM
SCrouch111 said...
When I die I don't care what they do with me. When my husband dies I will spend as little as possible to dispose of him.
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6-10-2008 @ 4:53PM
Zoe said...
SCrouch111, I WHOLE heartedly agree with you. I see no reason to spend thousands on burying the dead.
When I die, I want my funeral to be as cheap as possible. As a matter of fact, I want a VERY 'GREEN' disposal. I don't want to be put in a BIG, EXPENSIVE box. I don't want to have my remains taking up valuable real estate. I don't want my loved one's shelling out money which could be put to BETTER use. Spending a lot of money on a funeral is NOT necessarily a showing of love and respect. I got a better idea....show me the love while I'm still living.
6-10-2008 @ 4:26PM
Mike said...
It's so wonderful to see a loving wife like SCrouch111 "When my husband dies I will spend as little as possible to dispose of him."
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6-10-2008 @ 5:11PM
DEBBIE said...
I lost my husband when he was 53, suddenly, but he had always said for me to be careful when it came his time and to not be taken advantage of at the funeral home. I was 52, it was very frightening, they take you in this horrible room to pick out of all the things on display. I said I want my husband cremated. I still had to pick out an urn. I had the funeral at my church. They were upset with me, but I paid a little over 2,000 dollars. I don't want my kids to got through that so I bought my own urn for $17.95. I don't want a service.
6-10-2008 @ 5:40PM
bobsgirlie said...
SCrouch111, YOUR HUBBY MUST HAVE MADE YOU ANGRY... THOSE ARE HARSH WORDS FOR SOMEONE YOU SHARE YOU LIFE WITH...When he is gone I hope that you will remember those words youspoke so hastily. Your husband is suppossed to be your other half... how could you not care and to say "dispose" of him like he is garbage.... if you really dispise this man that much get a divorce and don't live in misery!..he desres the repect of a loving wife, and that my dear is not you..
6-10-2008 @ 4:46PM
heidi said...
jupiter-great comment i couldn't have said it better
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6-10-2008 @ 4:59PM
Jim Bauschke said...
Here's another DIY funeral site where the funeral planning section is more complete. Check it out: www.todaycenter.com/events/funeral/
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6-10-2008 @ 5:12PM
MIKE said...
ZZZZZZZZ WHO CARES ? ZZZZZZZZZZZ
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6-10-2008 @ 5:36PM
Camille said...
Some communities still permit the family to bury loved ones on their own property, though they must have the burial plot noted on the deed. There's no mystery about preparing a body for burial. It's just another thing our culture has allowed to be removed from the sphere of family-control. Just as births of babies have largely been relegated to hospitals & doctors. Births are family events, not medical events(unless complications occur, which is 5% of the time.) Deaths are family events, too, where professionals are not required.
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6-10-2008 @ 5:36PM
Michele said...
I hear you can have a coffin made and use it for a coffee table till you are ready for it. As for me and my Husband, we are donating our bodies for research.
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6-10-2008 @ 5:43PM
KJ said...
When I die, I will have done to me the same as I did for my late husband......cremation and it costs under 1000.00 if that.
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6-10-2008 @ 5:46PM
Aaron said...
How about this, DONATE your organs ,(if viable ) and have the rest cremated. that way both the living and the earth get a reward. if you do make sure those you leave behind know about it b-4 to save time and tissue.
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6-10-2008 @ 6:02PM
Lee Picton said...
In Maryland, you may register with the state to donate your body for medical purposes. I am told they treat the remains respectfully. State reps will begin by picking up the body (as long as it is in Maryland). When they are finished, they will cremate whatever is left and deliver them to the designated next of kin in a plain box. Our son says he is satisfied to transfer the ashes to bronze book urns and keep us in his bookcase (I requested that he put us with the hardbounds and not the paperbacks). So our only cost will be for the urns.
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6-10-2008 @ 6:28PM
Anne said...
I find this site totally fascinating and I am sure my husband will too! He is a Licensed Funeral Director and there are times he has wished that the person had pre-planned their funeral! Their families are clueless, their ex's want to be apart of the arranging of the funeral, no one wants to take responsibility for the bill but they all want to say what will happen to the body and during the funeral! If every death and funeral could be this easy!! May I suggest that everyone pre-plan and pre-pay for your funeral at today's cost because like gas everything is going up including funerals!! Take care everyone and remember that the Good God above is watching and judging us all!! Anne
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6-10-2008 @ 6:35PM
NancNurse said...
I'm a Hospice nurse and I've seen families who couldn't afford their pain medications but after the loved one actually died, they were pressured to take out loans to pay for very expensive casket and accessories. My mom pre-selected her casket and she got one made of fiberboard with a lovely brocaide finish on the outside. All of us kids felt pressured by the funeral director to get something more expensive, but we didn't cave in. Not one person even noticed. I think the funeral home industry has a lot of dedicated professionals, but they will sell whatever someone is willing to buy. If you want to be careful with finances, it is possible to keep things reasonable; just make sure you have a maximum cost in mind before going to meet with the funeral home director. If you feel better buying the best and adding all kinds of extras, I say go for it. Isn't it nice we live in a country where we have a choice?
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6-10-2008 @ 7:04PM
caren said...
My father was a funeral director for years and he took pride in the fact that he helped families through a very difficult time. He was not in it for the money. He made a comfortable living but was not rich by any stretch. It is an incredibly stressful job helping people who are grieving or in many cases fighting amoung themselves about what kind of arrangements they want. There are also the people who never pay their bill.
There some in the funeral business to just make money but there are many others that are in it because they want to help. Another reason to plan ahead....to find the kind of funeral director who cares.
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6-10-2008 @ 7:11PM
Ashley said...
Some of you are being a little harsh on SCrouch111. It's not like he's going to be offended if he's dead. If it turns out that you are aware of the living after you die, what are you gonna do about it? I think most people make too much of death (even if it's a loved one). I will donate my organs, be cremated and have my ashes spread somewhere.
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6-10-2008 @ 7:26PM
Phoff said...
For the serious DIY person; You can purpose plans and build your own coffin...a nice personal touch.
Myself, cremation is where it's at...and my next of kin can "dispose" of me any way they want. Remembering that many locals have ordinances forbiding certain disposal of ashes in public places.
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