Preposterous Products: the talking vodka bottle
Filed under: Extracurriculars, Food, Home
Life used to be so simple. If you drank a lot and found the bottle talking back to you, you know you've had enough, and that it's time to stop. Conversely, if you were a bartender, and you saw one of your patrons having a conversation with the bottle, you knew it was time to call a cab and send the lush home.That may change. Or at least in Russia, bickering with one's bottle of booze will no longer be considered odd.
As BBC News recently reported, in Russia, where drinking vodka is a national pastime, they've come up with the world's first ever talking vodka bottle top.
Every time you remove the cap from the bottle (" a vodka genie bottle top"), a voice starts talking, offering a series of popular Russian toasts. The voice also encourages people to drink up.
And then proving that Russian scientists and vodka marketers have a sense of humor, every successive time you open the bottle, the vodka genie's speech becomes more and more slurred.
And I used to think the Hallmark talking cards were clever.
Geoff Williams is a business journalist and the author of C.C. Pyle's Amazing Foot Race: The True Story of the 1928 Coast-to-Coast Run Across America (Rodale).
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
5-16-2008 @ 3:20PM
Tobi said...
Talking vodka bottles? Those crazy Russians! :-)
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 5:20PM
Hugh said...
And let's hear some examples!
5-16-2008 @ 3:24PM
Talika Green said...
That Is Hilarious!!!!!!!!!! I would love to know where I could buy some? I want to buy 2 bottles....one to open so I could hear it and one to keep as a keepsake!!!
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 3:43PM
Vivian Niblick said...
What? They didn't have them years ago? I swear I heard mine talking to me before.
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 4:24PM
GLORI said...
WELL I HAVE CERTAINLY HEARD IT ALL, NOW. THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT GIFT FOR SOMEONE THAT DRINKS VODKA, SO IS THIS PRODUCT ON THE MARKET HERE IN THE USA , I WOULD CERTAINLY PURCHASE SEVERAL BOTTLES. I THINK ONE OF MINE HAS TALKED TO ME BEFORE. LOL
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 4:34PM
gary said...
what's next 'burping' beer cans???
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 5:09PM
steve said...
Hey.. I am married to a Russian woman. Everytime I open a bottle of Vodka she starts talking to me too. After two years of marriage, I still cant understand most of what she says. Her English is not good to say the least. She is a mail order bride that I paid $7650 for. She is much younger, very attractive, a good lover, but I cant understand her. We use sign language alot of the time. I am not sure what she is saying when I start drinking, but she usually chanbes into one of her nities and thats a good thing. SO dont get hung up on a talking bottle. Get the Real Russian Thing. Its not that expensive for a nice considerate young woman who you cant understand. She is from Minsk. Blonde and smiley.
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 5:22PM
steve said...
I have gotten a few emails from this posting on where to find a Russian Mail order bride. YOu need to be careful some are scams. I went to Russia myself to meet my wife. I met her at the agency headquarters in Kiev. I had 4 to chose from. She was the prettiest one. I had to pay the agency $3500 in finders fees and another $4000 in travel costs, visas etc. And I had to get married there that cost about $600 US. So far so good but she doesnt seem to pick up English quickly. She is now pointing to a picture of Angelina Jolie pregnant with twins saying ME. I dont feel good about this. plus I have 5 kids from 2 other marriages so not sure what I should do. Can someone pass the Vodka please. I am serious
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 6:00PM
Ted Leonard said...
Are there any sign language when I removed the cap?
It is because I am deaf? LOL
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 6:14PM
barbara said...
whatever happened to scotch????
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 7:21PM
mtg9797 said...
Hammer+Sickel a new Russian Vodka on the market in the US has a real smoooooooooooooooooth taste and a really cool look. Try It! You do the talking!
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 7:38PM
Jessica said...
As if we russians need another reason to drink more vodka. I mean there was already the one russian who was in the news because he drank so much he didn't even know he had been stabbed in the back. Then two weeks ago or so there was the other russian who got on a plane and drank so much he died before the plane landed. Do we really need a talking vodka bottle to have us drink more???
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 7:44PM
OldFart said...
After all the years of drunks talking to their bottles, isn't this ironic
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 8:10PM
13 said...
.... I'd get a few bottles & open them up at the same time . Taking a drink from each in turn , just to see which bottle got too drunk to drive ! Hey , do these talking bottles get loud like real drunks do ?
Reply
5-16-2008 @ 8:20PM
13 said...
..... Do " they " get loud like real drunks do after a while ? If i get a few bottles & take a drink from each one in turn do " they " interact with each other ? Damn this sounds too cool .
Reply
5-20-2008 @ 3:30PM
amazedbyitall said...
That really is clever. That brand will probably become the most popular, if it doesn't taste like crap and isn't ridiculously expensive. I'd buy it for novelty alone... now if we could only find the cure to cancer.
Reply