Financial infidelity: Do you confess to dallying with your dollars?
Filed under: Relationships
My husband is a very faithful man: in the traditional sense. Every time I get upset at him, he says, "but honey! You should just hear me talk about you. Everyone at the bar knows you're the only one for me!"Umm... that's so not the point, sweetheart! You just spent $80 (plus hefty ATM fees at the only cash machine near the dirty bar where you play pool) buying drinks for your entire street hockey team. Frankly, all I care about is the financial fidelity.
Whether it's a closet full of shoes whose retail price you go to great lengths to hide from your husband, that credit card you never told your fiancée about, or youthful irresponsibility that got your first new car repossessed: many of us are guilty of monetary indiscretions.If we're not guilty, it's a good bet we've been cheated on, victims of unauthorized financial decisions made by the ones we both loved, and trusted. What are your stories of the darkest, most desperate, most dishonest financial dilly-dallying? Are you the cheater, or the cheat-ee?
Tell us your story (feel free to post anonymously, we promise not to tell), and we'll feature the most interesting ones here at WalletPop.
So do you want to know my financial fornication? I'm not proud of it: I hide my yarn purchases in the bottom of my bags before I return home with $30 or $40 of yummy kettle-dyed wool. I still think he has no idea how much I spend on my knitting. *Sigh*
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
1-24-2008 @ 4:22PM
Married said...
Guys, you've changed the subject, this is about financial infidelity, not financial woes!
Hell yea I hide my money men, hide sh_t! Women, bank accounts, property...hell it's been more men that have left women high and dry than women. Wise up women keep a little for yourselves if you work..if you don't work there's always the chance that you'll be left high & dry; unless of course you can still be his acrobat after you birth his babies; and you better look pretty while you're turning flips for him dressed like a fat show dancer!!!
Reply
1-30-2008 @ 1:17AM
Cheapskate said...
I am a female and Yes I have a money addiction......
I save every penny I can get my hands on. I hide this from my hubby. Don't get me wrong, we pay the bills, get groceries, do activities and feed our cars their gas. I am not a clothes horse, but dress nicely and wear makeup every day. But if I didn't hide the money he would find a way to spend it....Am I CRAZY?....naw!!!!
We have a nice nest egg he knows nothing about.
Reply
1-30-2008 @ 4:41AM
MAS said...
good for you.... you go girl.....
( MY HUBBY PUTS HIS CHANGE AND ALWAYS LEAVES IT ON THE DRESSER. THE FOLLOWING DAY IT GOES INTO A JAR AND WHEN IT GETS FULL I TAKE IT TO THE BANK. ALSO I CLIP COUPONS. WHATEVER THE AMOUNT IS THAT I SAVE WITH THE COUPONS I WRITE MY CHECK FOR THAT AMOUNT EXTRA AND IT ALSO GOES INTO THE JAR. AND ANY CHANGE I GET WHEN I MAKE A PURCHACE GOES TO THE JAR.)
2-06-2008 @ 3:15AM
lilly said...
You are a smart woman. My husband spends every dime (literally) that he gets his hand on. If he knows that there is even $100.00 in the bank, he will hound me until it is gone.
1-31-2008 @ 4:48PM
Jessincase said...
I spend money on things i know i will never need. I am a 21 year old work-a-holic and pretty much spend all of money i make the day before i get my next paycheck. I have very nice things, and pay my bills, but me and saving money just don't work out too well. I am sure one day i will figure it all out. Because everyone around me tells me to save my money. But for now and until im married and have more things to worry about i just spend it all which is a very bad habbit that i deff. notice :)
Reply
1-31-2008 @ 6:40PM
Cheater! said...
I am completely faithful to my husband (in Iraq)...except with money. He doesn't know I use my credit card as I like, then my Grammy pays it off. Okay, so I'm enabled. But, my husband is at war, and I deserve things that make me feel good... Cole Haan shoes, Cynthia Rowley bags, Gucci eyeliner. Come on...is that awful? I don't think so. Try having your husband at war...
Reply
2-03-2008 @ 4:39PM
GetItTogether! said...
Sounds like most of ya'll could benefit from Dave Ramsey.. I was very much in debt, living paycheck to paycheck, sometimes not paying most of my bills on time when I decided I needed to get my life together! A friend of mine invited me to a financial class taught by Dave Ramsey at a local church and it has really changed my life for the better! It is a wonderful class that is christian based and really has blessed my family as we are no longer in debt and have money saved for our children's college! Good luck to everyone and God Bless you all!
Reply
2-06-2008 @ 12:45AM
sandlapper said...
I have been married for 25 yrs & have always squirreled away any money I could b/c I was the main bread winner & had the higher income, but after making sure all the bills were paid, I would go out and shop just b/c I wanted to shop - not needed, but wanted... My husband isn't exactly a miser, but I am definitely a spend thrift. I also just read an article that described a chronic hoarder - I hold on to things b/c they hold sentimental value, even if they are broken; the article says that what you should hold onto are the memories. I am re-evaluating my life & have gone thru a 'de-cluttering' agenda, but I have enough stuff to open my own retail shop: yarn, hooks, pattern books but I also have large print best sellers, suncatchers, little statues, & my husbands BIGGEST complaint: jewelry & not costume jewelry but 10k rose gold, sterling silver & all the gems you could think of. I have BOXES filled with 1. bracelets, 2. pendants. 3. rings 4. studs(I have 3 holes in each ear) , 5. French-hook earrings, & 6. watches(I probably have at least 30) - I guess at least I'm '"organized", but somehow they don't always make it to their respective boxes but all over the dresser and bedside table...I have TWO jewelry armoirs although one of them I use for my stationary(for which I also have umpteen stamps to make my own cards and seals to put on the back - one more thing I "collect") I also have a "collection" of fine bone china thimbles & of course, display cabinets for them; I also "collect" old perfume bottles. I don't NEED any of this: books, I can get from the library & the other things - I just can't seem to stop buying - I go to the malls, I shop on-line & I order from catalogs. I haven't been diagnosed as Obsessive, Compulsive but I must be. At one time, I had 6 credit cards that my husband didn't know about plus I had a personal loan - these are paid off now but I used part of my 'retirement' (disability settlement) to pay them off on New Year's to the tune of $35,000. I still get cr card offers in the mail & ALMOST start to fill them out, but I'm trying NOT to get in that trap again & after awhile I really hated that I was keeping all this from my husband. The worst part is out of over $170,000 I have around $25,000 left - we are in our mid-fifties so this will NOT last long. We are having personal problems due to our finances & I half expect him to ask for a divorce, but 1. I can't help that I'm disabled & am homebound and 2. I can't seem to stop shopping. I don't know what I'm going to do....
Reply
2-06-2008 @ 3:14AM
lilly said...
Start an e-bay store and sell that stuff. I bet that you would make a lot of money.
Reply
2-07-2008 @ 1:36PM
Leslie said...
I used to be a credit card addict, but got out of the hole when I made a profit after selling my house prior to re-marriage. My husband is thrifty (but not cheap - we live nicely and go on good vacations) and opposed to paying interest on anything but the mortgage. We make a decent living, but still clip coupons, buy in bulk, save for retirement, etc. We have a Visa for convenience, but don't maintain a balance. I do, however, keep one store card - Kohl's - that I am certain I would die without. He knows I have it, but doesn't know that I run it up (never over $1,000). I use it to buy WANTS rather than needs. He wouldn't be overly mad if he knew - I just sort of like having something that's still just mine, even though it's debt! I didn't have to answer to anybody for so long -- I apparently have some deep-seated psychological problem that creates this need to have something that's still just mine. Oh well.
Reply
2-14-2008 @ 5:53AM
Kaylo said...
I think it is great that you are a "recovered" credit card addict. That has become my "addiction" over the last year. I am not proud of it and want to be "responsible and mature" enough to stop it. I quit a $60,000.00 factory job a few years back to stay home with my 2 young children. It was a joint decision between with my spouse. He has a good job making about the same. Up until a year ago, I had the "cash only" mentality, if we didn't have the cash, we didn't buy it or saved until we did. I started making small purchases on credit and paying them off, then started making needless purchases for things for myself and family, to where now I have opened several credit cards w/o my husband knowing. I always pay the bills on time, but if I don't get a grip on this spending our bills will become too large to pay. I also worry about him finding out and causing problems for us personally. My weakness is shopping online. It is too easy and accessible, and I am trying to stop it. I also acknowledge that I am an emotional shopper, so when I am having a bad day, just sign online and shop. I know this is wrong and also very irresponsible, and carry guilt about this. But can't seem to stop. I know I just need to close the credit accounts and cut up the cards. I think part of my weakness is due to the loneliness I feel as I dont see my spouse alot due to work schedule. I have been praying for Lord to give me strength to quit spending. So I was encouraged when I saw there was someone who is NO LONGER addicted to credit cards. That does give me hope.
2-13-2008 @ 5:46PM
Doug said...
A funny story about both spouses financial infidelity.
TWENTY DOLLARS
On their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new
Husband and asked for $20.00 for their first
Lovemaking encounter. In
His highly aroused state, her husband readily
Agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made
Love, for more
Than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to
Afford new clothes and other incidentals that
She needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find
Her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
His employer
Was going through a process of corporate
Downsizing, and he had
Been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of
59, he'd be able to find
Another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and
Therefore, they
Were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
Showed more than thirty
Years of steady deposits and interest totaling
Nearly $1 million. Then she
Showed him certificates of deposits issued
By the bank which were worth over $2 million,
And informed him that they
Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that
For the more than
Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied
And these were the
Results of her savings a nd investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
Worth over $3Million,
her husband was so astounded he could
Barely speak, but
Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If
I'd had any idea what you
Were doing, I would have given you all my
Business!'
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
To keep their mouths shut
Reply
1-15-2008 @ 9:03AM
Erwos said...
Used video games for me. But my wife is the one in charge of our finances (albeit with periodic audits from me), so she knows damn well that I get them. Then again, we're talking maybe $50 a month on a rather upper-middle-class income, so I'm not sure it really matters, either.
Reply
1-19-2008 @ 10:52AM
wing and prayer said...
My secret? I retired and I cashed out my 401K and every other abc 123 retirement, savings, et al and have about $300.00 left to my name after saving soo much and so well the last 30 years. No, I don't have a habit of any kind ... I was involved in an accident and can no longer work. All benefits were cut off after the company deemed me well enough to return to work against my doctors wishes, so .. it was either do what I had to do or not pay my bills, or eat. Now I face living like the rest of the poor population. It's very humbling, I'll tell you that, but I do believe in miracles. One prayer from each of you and I know I'll be back on my feet -- literally.
Reply
1-21-2008 @ 8:45AM
Lori said...
God Bless You! Good luck and hope that you have much peace and happiness to come.
1-21-2008 @ 5:05PM
ACE1 said...
HEY BE THANKFUL YOU CAN TALK ABOUT IT . . SAY A PRAYER .AND HOPE FOR MORE . GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY . P.S. PLAY THE LOTTERY.
1-23-2008 @ 1:20PM
Bernice Stonack said...
Dear Wing and Prayer:
I have just said a prayer for you that the Lord will help you out of your financial hole if it is His will for you. I have just recently been introduced something that you may find interesting and can bring you in some very good income even doing it part-time. It is a way for people to pay off their home or business mortgages in 1/2 to 1/3 the time. Write to me at bvston56@aol.com and I will tell you about it. God bless you. I am in a very similar financial situation but with God's help and this new progrm I hope to be out of debt soon.
1-25-2008 @ 8:40AM
LILY said...
I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES TOO.
& WILL PRAY FOR YOU ..
GOD HAS BLESSED YOU
BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE..
2-15-2008 @ 11:16AM
ReikiMaster said...
Did you burn your left hand? I "felt" extra healing needed there. Anyway, prayers and healing energy sent/channeled
in Christ. Peace (& take that job offer coming next Thurs!)
1-21-2008 @ 5:17AM
sandra weisz said...
i'm praying for wing and a prayer as well as for myself. i'm homeless in calif living in motels for 2 years. i've always been responsible with money, but it happened anyway due to the illegal invasion. prior to that i used to buy way too many cosmetics and clothes and shoes, and gifts for relatives that hate me anyway. i bought way way too much, enough to start my own store, and now i have no home. it's a long story, but one should always ask themselves, do they really need it? because now i don't have what i need.
Reply