Rules for air travel with children
Filed under: Kids and Money, Travel, Relationships
You are seated on a plane, watching the remaining passengers board when you notice them: arriving mother and child. The offspring come in all shapes and sizes. Never mind them for now, keep your eye on the mother. The future of your trip - whether it is about to hold reading, working, taking a nap - or its sudden alternative, sitting with a screaming child - is unfolding before your eyes. Watch closely because what you really want to know is whether that mother is coming equipped. Hopefully, she is carrying a small, colorful backpack. If not, run for cover.
I love children but the quarters up here are a little too close. It requires a basic level of parental intelligence - say mid-range- to know that when you bring a child on an airplane you'd better keep him happy. This is not rocket science but common sense in America has been in need of a booster shot for at least the last decade.
Wechsler's Rules for Air Travel with Children:
- If the oxygen mask drops, put your own on first then assist the child. This, of course, runs counter to every mother's instinct so it is announced at the beginning of every flight.
- When travelling with children, be prepared to keep them entertained. This doesn't require a significant financial investment. It does require bringing a sufficient variety of quiet ,age-appropriate activities to keep the child happy for the length of the trip. It may also require - at least part of the time - that you participate.
- If the child is old enough, explain expectations to him before the flight.
- Do not try to teach a child any lessons on an airplane. This is not the time to square off about limit setting. This is a time for distraction and entertainment. The people sitting within hearing range do not want to hear your child crying or screaming.
- If you are doing all of the above and the child is still unhappy, other passengers are likely to be empathic and try to help.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 5)
4-03-2008 @ 4:46PM
Joanie said...
Hunh. I don't disagree with anything you've listed here, but you do realize that children are their own people, right? It sounds like you assume a certain logic -- if the mother does the proper thing, the kid will be happy. That would be soooo excellent if it were true. Unfortunately, kids on planes will often be unhappy a) because the pressurized cabin is strange, b) because it's not really a kid environment, c) because they know they're supposed to behave, and d) for no discernible reason. And sadly, lots of other adults are not at all empathetic, no matter how hard you try to do the right thing. I don't necessarily blame them; I don't like sitting next to kids (screaming or otherwise) when I'm trying to sleep, work or read either.
So, yes, we all need to use common sense and be on our best behavior on planes. I'm all for that.
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4-06-2008 @ 8:55PM
Donna said...
You said it, Joanie! ...Thank you!
You couldn't have said it BETTER! :-) ...All of these meaningless articles that are 'Must Reads', etc... Do people, as parents, themselves or not UNDERSTAND that SOMETIMES... Uh, yeah, Folks--- Kids are gonna do what they're GONNA do... ALL the ARTICLES and "parent-preparations" IN THE WORLD don't necessarily mean they're going to help!
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4-06-2008 @ 9:43PM
Addy said...
Um Donna . . . I don't know your age, however, "when I was young" LOL, had I even looked like I was going to misbehave, my lil' butt would have received one good whack . . . or worse . . . the "look". I don't know what has happened to my generation, but we have allowed the kids of the 80's on up, to run all over us. For parents with kids born after 1990 - DRIVE . . . I don't want to hear your kid screaming, unless you plan on paying for my ticket.
4-06-2008 @ 9:04PM
Estelle Stein said...
I have flown with my children, and I have four, from the time they were a year old. I always provided age appropriate distractions and enough hands to handle it. They weren't permitted to kick seats, hang on seats, spin around and annoy other passengers or wander the aisles.
Interestingly enough my children weren't abused; they were tended to; so amen to your comments.
Can we include restaurants in this blog? Too many parents allow their bad parenting and bad choices to dictate their behavior.
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4-06-2008 @ 9:05PM
James said...
The only issue with rule #1 is that no one explains *why* you should put your mask on before putting on a child's.
As I've been told, a depressurization situation may involve air leaving the cabin so quickly that it is sucked out of your lungs. With that in mind, there may only be a few seconds to get a mask on before you lose consciousness. So you might as well put yours on first.
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4-06-2008 @ 10:05PM
ALINE said...
it is so you dont pass out befor you get the childs
mask on.. at least the child will have a chance
4-06-2008 @ 10:17PM
t2quaile1324 said...
The reason why YOUR MASK goes on first is so that you are still awake to put the childs mask on. If preasure is lost in the cabin and the pilots must bring the aircraft to a level that is safer. You can loose conscientiousness and therefore you and the child loose oxygen to your brain. You can only help someone if you help yourself first. Don't make yourself a victim. That is why you must place your mask on first and then help the ones around you.
As for children behaving on a plane. Children if raised with order in their homes. Have respect for others in public.
4-06-2008 @ 11:56PM
James said...
Responding to my own comment...
Yes...it's because you're likely to become unconscious if you're putting the child's mask on first. I knew the answer...but I didn't complete it for some reason. :-)
4-06-2008 @ 9:10PM
Nina said...
I have two small children and honestly with all the articles I have read about children and flying, I just won't do it. I know that my children will not be "little adults" so I will not even put them through sitting on a plane and trying to "do the right thing." I always am prepared when I go somewhere with my two, I bring coloring books, snacks, juice cups, toys, etc. but sometimes no matter what I bring it doesn't entertain them for long. So I just avoid the trouble of trying to put them on a plane. Yes, this means that I will not be able to see my family who live farther away, but I know how other adults can be. Some are just as bad or worse then the actual child themselves. So if I can't drive there, then I don't go. When they are older then it will change, but for now flying is one stress that I will not worry about.
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4-08-2008 @ 1:48AM
Cynthia said...
You know your own children best, so perhaps the following just wouldn't work with yours:
I have 3 children. I have flown many times with them since they were each infants. With mine, I could not possibly expect them to have "travel manners" on a plane as older children (2 of them are now pre-teens) if they had not been taught to behave respectfully to other passengers from a very young age.
4-06-2008 @ 9:19PM
Starlet said...
I have twins who are now 14. I brought 2 "colorful backpacks" which they happily carried as I prayed and anticipated that there wouldn't be ANY delays, that the ride wasn't bumpy, that we could be free to use the bathroom, that they wouldn't have a smelly poop right as we took off. MOST of the time, all went well and everyone was tickled that they didn't have to DEAL with the two little giggling twins who were on board. But the expectations we have of the airline aren't always met either and that's where things often go sour for moms or dads with toddlers. Most of us are doing and did the best we could w/what we were given.
There are those families who come on board and expect us to live for 5 and a half hours in the way they run their household on a regular basis. Those people need the lesson. Those are the people whose kid kicks your chair repeatedly for the first hour of the flight and when you turn around and say - "Um.. can you stop him from doing that?" they yell at you and say, "he's just a kid!" Those are the people who put their 3 year old daughter down in the aisle and the stewardess has to bring her back to them because they didn't even know she was gone. I've been on flights with people like that and it's mind boggling. Unfortunately, those intolerant of all children will have the same mentality when ANY child comes on board. And THAT is a shame.
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4-06-2008 @ 9:33PM
RoeC said...
{As I've been told, a depressurization situation may involve air leaving the cabin so quickly that it is sucked out of your lungs. With that in mind, there may only be a few seconds to get a mask on before you lose consciousness. So you might as well put yours on first. }
While the reasoning is true. The comment about you might as well put yours on first was just plain dumb. The reason the adult puts theirs on first is becouse if the adult passes out who will help the child? The adult puts their mask on then attends to the child. If the child has passed out the adult can still place the breathing mask on the child and pick up the child and carry them if need be.
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4-06-2008 @ 9:49PM
Jan said...
I have been flying with my son since he was 3 months old. He is now 8. So far, I have not had any trouble with him (at that includes a 17hr international flight). I do come prepared because I can't rely on the inflight entertainment on most US carriers (Asian & European carriers seem to have more available) or the child's meal being something he would eat.
I do sometimes have issues with other adult travellers who leave their reading light on all night when they are not using it or have the volume on their earphones / ipod set so high that I can hear it 3 rows away.
So all travelers need to be considerate of their fellow passengers and cut each other a bit of slack.
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4-06-2008 @ 10:13PM
mike said...
excuse me could you lock that EVIL child in the bathroom for the next 2 hours? perhaps next time you'll take the bus or a charter i paid full price for my seat so step off
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4-06-2008 @ 10:15PM
mike said...
kids are hard to handle and everyone should be ok with it.Airplanes are not child unfriendly and they are paying passangers so deal with it the best way you can
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4-06-2008 @ 10:15PM
sac3002 said...
this article is pointless--I have a 2 year old that has been on several flights with no problems.
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4-06-2008 @ 10:19PM
mike said...
there are two mikes...I am the one in favor
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4-06-2008 @ 10:27PM
Laura said...
I was on a flight just last week and there was a little boy behind me digging his feet through the seat cushions into my backside. I turned around once, and gave him a look. The next time, I turned around and nicely asked the boy not to put his feet into my back. I then heard "salt of the earth dad" exclaim to his 5 year old son, "I used to do that when I was a boy too son, but we have to learn how to restrain ourselves" as if to condone his son's behavior (which did not fully cease). I am happy to say that my kids merely slept and kept their feet to themselves. It all starts with good training and discipline at home.
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4-06-2008 @ 10:38PM
briteiiis1 said...
I have a 3 1/2 Year old that has been flying Private Charter and on our own Plane since he was 2, he's very well behaved when we fly and actually loves flying, Sometimes the high altitude causes him to be a little hyper but nothing that a dramamine wont take care of.
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4-06-2008 @ 10:42PM
Marti said...
Put me next to a child anyday! I've had more problems with adults - and THEY should know better!
For example, the man who would not switch seats with my 5 year old so that we could sit next to each other. The airline messed up our seating arrangements and he refused to move because he wanted to sit with his wife. Like I want my child to spend 2 hours with a stranger several rows away? Then there was the man that insisted on talking my ear off after I politely told him I'd rather sleep (I was in the Army at the time and any extra rest was appreciated). Then there was the man that cut in front of me and snuck a cigarette in the FAMILY RESTROOM! Aren't they supposed to have smoke alarms in there anyway? We all have numerous stories about the rudeness of other ADULT passengers.
I'm thankful that my children are content to color, read books, and listen to their MP3 players - I only wish some adults could do the same! For every problem you have with a child, I can almost guarantee that you've had 5 more with adults.
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