'I Know My Kid's a Star': Televising Child Abuse
Filed under: Kids and Money, Ripoffs and Scams
It was with a heavy heart that I watched, I Know My Kid's a Star tonight. Animals are treated better on sets than some of these children were on national television. I have to hope - and presume - that our animal protection societies are doing a better job than whoever is supposed to be looking out for the best interests of these children. I keep coming back to one word: appalling.
To be straightforward, I knew I wasn't going to like this show when I was asked to cover it. Whether it's sports, academics, or pageants - I hate seeing children pressured to achieve. Pressure undermines a child's natural inclination to learn and expand through play. Play by definition is not pressured. But as painful as it was to watch some of these children with their parents, it seemed even worse to watch them also being exploited for the benefit of the production company, advertisers and the adult "stars" who presumably were salaried to partake in this national display of child abuse.
For those of you who didn't see it, "I Know My Kid's a Star" is aptly titled. This really is about the adults. In the early scenes - a tour of Hollywood by bus - former child star and addict Danny Bonaduce, attempts to warn the mothers (there was one, shortly to be eliminated, father) about the risks to Hollywood's children. Was it intended to be ironic that most of this scene takes place in front of a club called, "The Viper"?
"Preparing kids and parents for the challenges" of child stardom is the show's thinly disguised rationale for exploitation of children -- many, perhaps most, possibly all -- of whom are already being exploited by their parents.
Any delusion that the bus tour for the parents might have had an impact is swiftly eliminated when Bonaduce asks, "How many of you still want stardom?" Every hand on the bus shoots up. One mother announces that her daughter, "wants this almost more than me."
To share the grisly details. There are three moms angrily engaged with one another, sounding at their best like 8th grade girls. For most of an hour, children are drilled, manipulated and harassed. There is an absolutely brutal scene when a little girl is "timed out" by her mother in the hall for being disrespectful. No matter what the child does, she can't seem to get it right as the mother is intent on demonstrating that she's the boss. Worse still, the "tough judge" - a female Simon Cowell impersonator- later tells her mother that her daughter is, "a pretty, pretty girl but seems like a spoiled brat."
This child isn't spoiled. She's being emotionally battered on national television.
Then there is the real "star" of this show: Halley's mom Rocky, whose behavior is so immature and needy that it's the one thing that everyone on the show and 99.9% of viewers will agree on. When the child shines once the mother is removed from the audition, the judges waste no time shaming her mother in front of her. Is this supposed to appear helpful to the child?
Is telling a mother who has "invested" $35,000 in her child's career that she is, "owed a lot of money" supposed to be in the best interest of the child?
Above and beyond the individual details, the pervasive message to these children from their parents is: you are being judged and I really, really, really want you to win. The message from the judges is: Someone is going home and it could be you. There's a lot riding on this.
Having watched these scenes, viewers then get to watch the one little girl who is eliminated, Devon, as she takes the walk of shame out the door. Her father is actually the only parent to say anything empathic during the entire show ("I don't like to see sadness in her eyes" ) but once eliminated, even on the car ride home, he is already suggesting that they go back and try again.
I wonder what would happen if every reporter, teacher, parent and therapist who sees this program contacted their state department for the protection of children.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
3-28-2008 @ 1:17PM
Gary E. Sattler said...
What a sad commentary on society that a show such as this would be considered entertainment for the masses. All it lacks is a little flogging and the arena with lions.
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3-28-2008 @ 6:22PM
carol said...
Have you ever heard of editing?? You are ONLY seeing what they want you to see. Before making such Harsh assumptions against the parents get some knowledge on how they edit the shows.
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4-04-2008 @ 10:35AM
Jennifer said...
I agree we only see a small portion of what actually goes on. People crying out child exploitation/abuse/call Child Protective Services may as well make a list of any child they see on television.
I see no abuse going on here. Pressure, yes. Life is tough and anything worth fighting for will cause stress.
I think it is more abusive to allow your child to sit in front of a television and play computer games for hours on end, day in and day out while cramming themselves with junk food. These mothers are being proactive and want better lives for their children and there is no shame in that.
I'm a stage mother of a tween, who I believe is star material and who is taking acting lessons, so I understand what is driving these parents.
I will say that some of the parents seem to lose sight of what is really important (be rich and famous and have that "big" house, etc...) but then again, we only see a small portion of what goes on. I understand what it is like to get caught up in the moment, I have done so myself, but I hope they teach their children there is more to life than being admired and living a life of self-indulgence.
3-30-2008 @ 1:32PM
Abby said...
Honestly Pam, did you really think when you signed up for this show that they would portray you as kind, caring, and loving mothers? Don't be surprised when people speak of the emotional abuse you put these kids through. Although yes, I'm sure a lot of footage was left out, do you expect every single viewer of this show to call VH1 as you adivsed this writer to do so that they can "get all the facts"?
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3-30-2008 @ 7:07PM
Tracy Coenen said...
I just saw this show today, including Pam. Yikes. Beth got this one right. I feel so sorry for those children!
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3-30-2008 @ 8:57PM
Pam Glover said...
I am Mary's mom and I do hope that you will take the time as a professionsl and call vh1. I am sure that you will see how much your comments on the show are not accurate.
I would think as a professional before writing this you would have known enough to know that you see what they want you to see not what happened.
Please get the story before you start condemning mothers such as myself. It's sad when a true professional does not have the courtesy of finding out and doing some investigating before writing about the show.
I want to encourage you as a "professional" to follow up with vh1 and get all the facts. Then write yet another article with the true unedited facts. But to make such a harsh claim about me as a mother is truly wrong given your position.
You might have at least had the courtesy of writing that you are only going by what you see and have no knowledge of how the editing worked.
Mary is a wonderful kid and I am very proud of her. She is a tween however and that does present some hormonal issues at time. The show did not let the viewers see what really took place and to be honest with you I am greatful. This "brutal" mother as you call me, is very happy that Mary Jo did not look to bad.
Most people cannot understand that it is ok to be a tween and sometimes Mary's behavior is disrespectful. She gets corrected (not abused) and we move on. It's all part of being a tween and unfortunately there are many that if the show was not edited would have placed negative on my daughter that she did not deserve.
This is a reality show and please remember that. They took hours and hours of footage and then used what they wanted. I would ask that again you inquire about what really took place before writing as a professional or at least be clear that you are basing your opinion solely on what you see and have no knowledge of what really took place given this is an edited show.
God Bless,
Pam Glover
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3-30-2008 @ 10:00PM
Pam Glover said...
I don't post much and will not post on here again. To answer your question No I don't think every single viewer should call vh1. Yes I do think a professional that is going to write an article should at least get the facts.
I have signed a contract so I am careful about what I post. I will not go into detail. The author of this article is dead wrong about this show.
When I went on the show it was called Next Child Star. I have never had any ambitions of being on TV and have no desire to be on TV again.
I love my daughter and she has a passion in her and loves to act. Mary Jo wanted to be on this show and for her it was good. The kids were treated wonderful and they had the time of their lives. I am just sorry that vh1 has not shown all the great times the children had. I hope in the future they might air some of it.
Mary Jo was not abused emotionally on this show. In fact she was in time out all of 10 minutes. Further more they did not show what really took place. I do not regret correcting my daughter because she was disrespectful. She was not put in time out for not wanting to practice.
Mary Jo is a wonderful and amazing daughter. I am blessed to have her. She is also a child who makes straight a's in school and is a happy child. I am proud of her.
I have no intention of not correcting my daughter when she shows disrespect. She is 12 and it is important because if I let her do and say what she wants then that is a train wreck waiting to happen.
I have a son who is 17 going to college next year. He is straight a's and a great child as well. He is going into ministrey. I recently was in a church group for 40 days of purpose and my son took the class with me. People who I did not know talked about the show and the best compliment I could get was from this one man. He said I did not need to say a word because when you get to know my son then you know he has had a great mom.
I am not a perfect parent and will never claim to be. I love my children and would give anything to help them.
In closing my answer is that Beth should do her homework as a professional with children posting (not just a viewer)
I don't know maybe she would like an interview. I hope that she gets one and then gets to meet the shows psychologist. I know that no one has mentioned this yet but yes there was a psychologist for the show. It might have been a good idea if Beth would have spoke with him as one professional to another. I personally will take his word over Beth because he actually knows he was there.
God Bless,
Pam
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3-31-2008 @ 3:00PM
Truth vs "Reality" said...
One of the moms on the show is writing a blog about the experience. It really helps you separate out her truth from the altered reality of "reality TV". It also goes into how the parents were recruited with a sort of bait and switch tactic. Even if you don't agree with her, it's interesting reading. See http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=48620691
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3-31-2008 @ 3:09PM
Sommer said...
Hello. First of all I just want to say I am sitting here right now watching the episode that is being talked about in this article. I made sure I watched what Pam did with Mary Jo and I commend her big time. So Pam if you are reading this - I love the way you handled the situation, that's how I try to do it myself but sometimes I don't keep the consistency and I need to. My daughter is twelve and sometimes can have that little smart talk that they all get. I correct it, she deals with the consequence and I come back and talk about it with her and I ask her if she thought about how she could've handeled it different. At the end of the day if you don't take the time out to correct them they will be lost in life and it's so crucial during theses years to not let it get out of hand!
I honestly still can not get over the fact that this writer describes it as brutal. But anyway on another note - when I read this article I don't know why but I thought the author of the article was actually on set and at first I thought "oh well maybe I don't want to try to get on the show if they have it next season" but then I read on and I watched for what the author described as child abuse and I just think she wrote her opinion on what she saw on the tv versus the facts. That worries me that she wasn't very professional in writing this article. Maybe after reading all these comments she will open up a little more and take more time to find out all the facts and not just the edited version. We all make mistakes and sometimes we don't know we are making one until someone else tells us we are. So let's hope for the best and maybe she will write a revised article. I personally think she should go on set but I don't know the rules of that.
So before I end my comment I would like to ask you Pam or any of the moms from the show what would be your advice from one mom of a talented kid to another mom of a talented kid about trying to get my daughter on the next season?
Much love and admire,
S. Hayes
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4-06-2008 @ 12:57AM
Matt said...
To the author of the article, you wrote:
For those of you who didn't see it, "I Know My Kid's a Star" is aptly titled. This really is about the adults. In the early scenes - a tour of Hollywood by bus - former child star and addict Danny Bonaduce, attempts to warn the mothers (there was one, shortly to be eliminated, father) about the risks to Hollywood's children. Was it intended to be ironic that most of this scene takes place in front of a club called, "The Viper"?
The club is called the 'The Viper Room', and the situation as you describe it is not irony as it is defined. If the club was called 'The Nobody Gets Hurt Club', then it would have been ironic.
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